Sue Scheff - Depression and Your Teen

Sue Scheff: Learn More About Teen Medicine Abuse

2009-05-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

How can you help?

More Parents Talking with Their Teens about Cough Medicine Abuse

Posted by Five Mom, Christy Crandell , on Monday, May 11, 2009

Our efforts to educate parents about medicine abuse have reached thousands of families in the United States. With your help, more parents than ever are learning about this risky teen substance abuse behavior and are talking with their teens. According to the Partnership Attitude Tracking Study, released by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, 65 percent of parents have talked to their teens about the dangers of abusing OTC cold and cough medicine to get high-an 18 percent increase in the number of parents who talked to their teens in 2007.
My fellow Five Moms and I are excited to share this promising news with you, but there is still much work ahead. Although nearly two-thirds of parents have talked with their teens, 35 percent of parents said that they have not had this important conversation.

We know that when parents talk to their teens about the risks of substance abuse, their teens are up to fifty percent less likely to abuse substances. If you have not already talked with your teens about the dangers of cough medicine abuse, visit our talk page for some helpful ideas on how to have this discussion.

It is also critical that we share this information with our friends and communities as well. Too many parents are still unaware that some teens are abusing OTC cough medicine to get high, and it is important that we talk with them about this behavior. By talking with other parents, we can make sure that every family has the knowledge and tools to help keep teens safe and healthy.

Sharing information about cough medicine abuse is easy. It only takes a moment to start a conversation, and thanks to Stop Medicine Abuse, you can Tell-A-Friend through e-mail or post the Stop Medicine Abuse widget to your blog or web site. The more parents are aware of cough medicine abuse, the better we can prevent this behavior from happening in our communities.
Have you talked with other parents about cough medicine abuse? Share your advice about having this conversation at the Stop Medicine Abuse Fan page

Teen Help Programs - Don't be a Parent At Risk

2009-05-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

Are you a parent and your teen is escalating in negative behavior? Wanting to drop out of school? Using drugs? Running away? Defiant and disrepectful? Struggling with peer pressure and simply not the child you raised? Are you at your wit’s end? Especially if your teen is nearing 17 years old, don’t waste time in finding help.

For many that have read my book - Wit’s End! (Published by Health Communications Inc.) - which give my experiences with WWASPS and my daughters experiences with Carolina Springs Academy, it is a wake up call for all parents that are at their wit’s end and desperately looking for help for their struggling teenager.

Are you worried or concerned about your teens recent behavior? Do you believe it is time for outside help? Local therapy is not working?

Visit my organization, Parents Universal Resource Experts, that I created to help educate you on researching for safe and quality alternatives for your family.

Are you considering these programs or talking to these sales reps?

Academy of Ivy Ridge, NY (CLOSED)
Bell Academy, CA (CLOSED)
Canyon View Park, MT
Camas Ranch, MT
Carolina Springs Academy, SC
Cross Creek Programs, UT (Cross Creek Center and Cross Creek Manor)
Darrington Academy, GA (CLOSED)
Help My Teen, UT (Adolescent Services Adolescent Placement) Promotes and markets these programs.
Gulf Coast Academy, MS (CLOSED)
Horizon Academy, NV
Jane Hawley - Lifelines Family Services
Kathy Allred - Lifeline Sales Representative
Lisa Irvin (Helpmyteen) and Teens in Crisis
Lifelines Family Services, UT (Promotes and markets these programs) Jane Hawley
Mark Peterson - Teen Help Sales Representative
Majestic Ranch, UT
Midwest Academy, IA (Brian Viafanua, formerly the Director of Paradise Cove as shown on Primetime, is the current Director here)
Parent Teen Guide (Promotes and markets these programs)
Pillars of Hope, Costa Rica
Pine View Christian Academy (Borders FL, AL, MS)
Reality Trek, UT
Red River Academy, LA (Borders TX)
Respect Academy, NV
Royal Gorge Academy, CO (CLOSED)
Sherri Schwartzman - Lifelines Sales Representative
Sky View Academy, NV (allegedly closed?)
Spring Creek Lodge, MT (CLOSED) Rumors they have re-opened in another area of MT.
Teen Help, UT (Promotes and markets these programs)
Teens In Crisis (Lisa Irvin)
Tranquility Bay, Jamaica
Oceanside, CA - rumors of short term program there.

There is a rumor a new program in Mexico is open - parents need to be aware of this. It is believed they have re-opened Casa By the Sea with another name - possibly Discovery. Another rumor that was heard is Jade Robinson is running this program - he was formerly at Horizon Academy, Bell Academy (closed) and Casa by the Sea (closed).

Do your homework! Don’t be a parent at risk! Learn from my experiences, my daughter’s abuse and gain from my knowledge through the legal victories I have accomplished.

Sue Scheff: The Choking Game?

2009-04-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

The Choking Game - a teen thing? What is the Choking Game? It is definitely not a game any parent want to learn about the hard way. Learn more now about this horrific game through G.A.S.P. (Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play).

I received an email from a mother that almost lost her son to this game. She is now part of an advocacy group to help inform and educate others about this choking game. She understands she almost lost her son, as a matter of fact, she thought she had. Miraculously, her son survived after several days in a coma following this incident. As a parent advocate, I always encourage others to share their stories, mistakes, experiences etc in an effort to help others. This is one of the many parents that is hoping you will learn from her firsthand experiences.

Source: G.A.S.P.

It’s not a game at all—just an act of suffocating on purpose.

Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate.

When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Back Acne and Self Esteem

2009-04-15T06:19:00.000-07:00

Source: Johanna Curtis

Back Acne Treatment Helps Teens with Self Esteem Issues

As parents we are all aware at how fragile a teenager’s self esteem can be sometimes. Hormones at the onset of puberty don’t do much to help with that. As hormones rage, often times so does acne. Acne occurs frequently in teenagers to varying degrees and typically occurs on the face and back. For active teenagers, this can be a cause of embarrassment. But back acne treatment can do wonders in alleviating the self esteem issues caused by excessive acne on the back.

Teenage boys are often active in sports and have to deal with their peers in the locker rooms and while competing. Having back acne can be highly embarrassing and make someone feel self conscious. Teenage girls have an equal number of problems pertaining to back acne. Imagine getting ready for a high school dance, picking out a fashionable dress and being appalled by the back acne that is visible. Of course, acne in general is something that all teenagers go through to some extent. But we do want our kids to be confident and healthy so it is important to understand the causes of back acne as well as the cures for back acne.

If a teenager is embarrassed by their back acne, they will have a tendency to avoid situations where it may be visible. This can be really unhealthy for a teenager. Avoiding sporting events, social activities and friends can lead to depression. But there is good news regarding the causes of back acne. We know what causes are real and what are myths. Because of this, we also know ways in which back acne treatment can benefit the self conscious teenager.

Amazingly, many people still buy into the myths associates with the causes of back acne. We know, though that food, clothing, dirt and sweat do not cause acne. In some cases one or all of those issues may exacerbate acne to a small degree but none of them actually cause it. So, in order to effectively find cures for back acne, the root cause of it should be examined and there is basically one main cause of acne in the face, back and body.

The culprit is hormones. Yes, a hormonal imbalance is the reason the skin breaks out and why so many teenagers are afflicted with acne problems. So in order to treat it, two things must occur: The hormonal imbalance must be addressed and a proper skin care regimen must be started. The truth is both of these issues can be controlled with skin care products, diet and vitamins.

With back acne Retin A is often used and touted as a cure. However, many Retin A products are very expensive and often do not cure the back acne completely. High cost advertising programs are what draw consumers to these products and while some may work, they are not addressing the complete picture so they can not stop the back acne from occurring.

Instead, there are a few products that are recommended because of the testing that was conducted and the means to which a complete system of hormonal cures as well as skin care treatments are used. The reason they work is that they address back acne from the inside out and do not leave anything out of the picture.

There are many products on the market today but often the reason they are popular is due to expensive advertising campaigns as opposed to actual positive results. It is important to start off with a topical treatment to clean the skin and protect it. These may include a body wash, body cream and scrubs. Getting into the habit of cleaning the face regularly will instill a sense of responsibility and self respect in a teenager also.

Not only should the topical skin treatment be addressed but the hormonal imbalance should also be treated with natural supplements. The hormonal imbalance is addressed with the use of the supplements and acne issues are washed away with the topical products. The results include fewer blemishes and a restored balance to the hormones. This allows the skin to naturally go back to its intended condition, free from acne.

Choose products that are independently tested and rated for its effectiveness in treating back acne. Also choose all inclusive solutions. They all have one thing in common. They each address all the issues regarding back acne and its root cause. They provide a topical acne wash and cream to help maintain the skin’s appearance but they also include a dietary supplement intended to help restore the proper hormonal balance.

Hormonal imbalances can go well into adulthood but teenagers are especially prone to it. Back acne can be embarrassing and can greatly affect a teenager’s self esteem. However, with proper treatment, the self consciousness from back acne can be eliminated. Your teenager can be confident knowing he or she is acne free.

Sue Scheff: Teen Depression

2009-04-02T07:10:00.001-07:00

Source: USA Today

Experts: Doctors should screen teens for depression.

If you have teens or tweens, government-appointed experts have a message: U.S. adolescents should be routinely screened for major depression by their primary care doctors. The benefits of screening kids 12 to 18 years old outweigh any risks if doctors can assure an accurate diagnosis, treatment and follow-up care, says the independent U.S. Preventive Services Task Force.
It’s a change from the group’s 2002 report concluding there wasn’t enough evidence to support or oppose screening for teens. The task force, though, says there’s still insufficient proof about the benefits and harms of screening children 7 to 11 years old.

Depression strikes about 1 out of 20 teens, and it’s been linked to lower grades, more physical illness and drug use, as well as early pregnancy.

Questionnaires can accurately identify teens prone to depression, plus there’s new evidence that therapy and/or some antidepressants can benefit them, the expert panel says in a report in today’s Pediatrics . But careful monitoring is vital since there’s “convincing evidence” that antidepressants can increase suicidal behavior in teens, the report says.

Accompanying the task force advisory in Pediatrics is a research review saying there have been few studies on the accuracy of depression screening tests, but the tests “have performed fairly well” among adolescents. Treatment can knock down symptoms of depression, say the reviewers from Kaiser Permanente and the Oregon Evidence-Based Practice Center in Portland, Ore.

In a “show me the money” volley back, pediatricians also weigh in on the topic in today’s issue of their journal. Insurance plans and managed care companies that stiff or under-pay pediatricians for mental health services throw up barriers to mental health care in doctors’ offices, says the American Academy of Pediatrics. Kids’ doctors should be compensated for screenings, as well as consults with mental health specialists and parents, AAP recommends.

Sue Scheff: Teen Stress

2009-03-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

School is winding down, finals are piling up - the stress of getting good grades as well as keeping your GPA up to be able to get into that college or university you dream to go to, can be stressful. Compound that with summer coming and if you are like many teens, looking for a summer job is in the plan but may be more difficult than last summer. The economy is hitting all levels of employment, and parents are not the only ones having stressful times.

Here is a great article I found on TeensHealth. Take the time to learn more about your teen and how stress can effect them.

What Is Stress?

Stress is a feeling that’s created when we react to particular events. It’s the body’s way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation with focus, strength, stamina, and heightened alertness.

The events that provoke stress are called stressors, and they cover a whole range of situations - everything from outright physical danger to making a class presentation or taking a semester’s worth of your toughest subject.

The human body responds to stressors by activating the nervous system and specific hormones. The hypothalamus signals the adrenal glands to produce more of the hormones adrenaline and cortisol and release them into the bloodstream. These hormones speed up heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure, and metabolism. Blood vessels open wider to let more blood flow to large muscle groups, putting our muscles on alert. Pupils dilate to improve vision. The liver releases some of its stored glucose to increase the body’s energy. And sweat is produced to cool the body. All of these physical changes prepare a person to react quickly and effectively to handle the pressure of the moment.

Sue Scheff - Teenage Depression

2009-03-10T05:29:00.000-07:00

Source: Connect with Kids

“Just this gloom was like hanging over my head and I knew something wasn’t right but I wasn’t exactly sure what it was.”

– Amy, 16 years old

New research from Columbia University finds that nearly 50 percent of teens suffer from some form of depression, anxiety, or a number of other psychiatric disorders.

“A lot of people I know get depressed all the time about lots of stuff,” says 15-year-old Meagan.

“It’s like everything’s all on your shoulders and you have to take everything at once,” says Meredith, 14.

Sixteen-year-old Amy agrees, “Just this gloom was like hanging over my head and I knew something wasn’t right but I wasn’t exactly sure what it was.”

“My parents went through an awful divorce my ninth grade year and I was devastated, worse than my heart could ever imagine,” says 18-year-old Brittany, “and it hurts a lot, and I still hurt to this day and I’m a senior in H.S.”

The symptoms vary: some kids may be lethargic and withdrawn; others may show agitation and frustration, even aggression. Often, there is a drop in grades.

And sometimes these symptoms can cause parents to punish the child, instead of providing treatment.

“Rather than thinking of children’s misbehaviors as discipline problems or misbehaviors as deliberate,” says psychologist Sunaina Jain, Ph.D., “it’s important to see them as communications from the child.”

Experts say lots of kids experience depression or anxiety, often mild and temporary, but not always. And that’s why parents need to constantly check their child’s emotional pulse.

“You know it doesn’t take hours and hours. Even a few minutes of checking in with each other every day is a great way of saying you know I’m here, I’m interested in you,” says Jain.

Tips for Parents

All teens experience ups and downs. Every day poses a new test of their emotional stability – fighting with a friend, feeling peer pressure to “fit in” with a particular crowd or experiencing anxiety over a failed quiz – all of which can lead to normal feelings of sadness or grief. These feelings are usually brief and subside with time, unlike depression, which is more than feeling blue, sad or down in the dumps once in a while.

According to the Nemours Foundation, depression is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair or hopelessness that lasts for weeks, months or even longer. It also interferes with a person’s ability to participate in normal activities. Often, depression in teens is overlooked because parents and teachers feel that unhappiness or “moodiness” is typical in young people. They blame hormones or other factors for teens’ feelings of sadness or grief, which leaves many teens undiagnosed and untreated for their illness.

The Mayo Clinic reports that sometimes a stressful life event triggers depression. Other times, it seems to occur spontaneously, with no identifiable specific cause. However, certain risk factors may be associated with developing the disorder. Johns Hopkins University cites the following risk factors for becoming depressed:

Children under stress who have experienced loss or who suffer attention, learning or conduct disorders are more susceptible to depression.
Girls are more likely than boys to develop depression.
Youth, particularly younger children, who develop depression are likely to have a family history of the disorder.

Possible Symptoms:

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation or anxiety
Pessimism or indifference
Loss of energy or persistent lethargy
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
Inability to concentrate and indecisiveness
Inability to take pleasure in former interests or social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

It is important to acknowledge that teens may experiment with drugs or alcohol or become sexually promiscuous to avoid feelings of depression. According to the National Mental Health Association, teens may also express their depression through other hostile, aggressive, risk-taking behaviors. These behaviors will only lead to new problems, deeper levels of depression and destroyed relationships with friends and family, as well as difficulties with law enforcement or school officials.

The development of newer antidepressant medications and mood-stabilizing drugs in the last 20 years has revolutionized the treatment of depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, and it has become the first line of treatment for most types of the disorder. Psychotherapy may also help teens cope with ongoing problems that trigger or contribute to their depression. A combination of medications and a brief course of psychotherapy are usually effective if a teen suffers from mild to moderate depression. For severely depressed teens, initial treatment usually includes medications. Once they improve, psychotherapy can be more effective.

Immediate treatment of your teen’s depression is crucial. Adolescents and children suffering from depression may turn to suicide if they do not receive proper treatment. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for Americans aged 10-24. The National Association of School Psychologists suggests looking for the following warning signs that may indicate your depressed teen if contemplating suicide:

Suicide notes: Notes or journal entries are a very real sign of danger and should be taken seriously.

Threats: Threats may be direct statements (“I want to die.” “I am going to kill myself”) or indirect comments (“The world would be better without me.” “Nobody will miss me anyway”). Among teens, indirect clues could be offered through joking or through comments in school assignments, particularly creative writing or artwork.

Previous attempts: If your child or teen has attempted suicide in the past, a greater likelihood that he or she will try again exists. Be very observant of any friends who have tried suicide before.

Depression (helplessness/hopelessness): When symptoms of depression include strong thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness, your teen is possibly at greater risk for suicide. Watch out for behaviors or comments that indicate your teen is feeling overwhelmed by sadness or pessimistic views of his or her future.

“Masked” depression: Sometimes risk-taking behaviors can include acts of aggression, gunplay and alcohol or substance abuse. While this behavior may not appear to be depression, in fact it may suggest that your teen is not concerned about his or her own safety.

Final arrangements: This behavior may take many forms. In adolescents, it might be giving away prized possessions, such as jewelry, clothing, journals or pictures.

Efforts to hurt himself or herself: Self-injury behaviors are warning signs for young children as well as teens. Common self-destructive behaviors include running into traffic; jumping from heights; and scratching, cutting or marking his or her body.

Changes in physical habits and appearance: Changes include inability to sleep or sleeping all the time, sudden weight gain or loss and lack of interest in appearance or hygiene.

Sudden changes in personality, friends or behaviors: Changes can include withdrawing from friends and family, skipping school or classes, loss of involvement in activities that were once important and avoiding friends.

Plan/method/access: A suicidal child or adolescent may show an increased interest in guns and other weapons, may seem to have increased access to guns, pills, etc., and/or may talk about or hint at a suicide plan. The greater the planning, the greater the potential for suicide.

Death and suicidal themes: These themes might appear in classroom drawings, work samples, journals or homework.

If you suspect suicide, it is important to contact a medical professional immediately. A counselor or psychologist can also help offer additional support.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Foundation for Suicidal Prevention
Columbia University
Johns Hopkins University
Mayo Clinic
National Association of School Psychologists
National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association
National Institute of Mental Health
National Mental Health Association
Nemours Foundation
Thomson-Reuters

Sue Scheff: Teen Anxiety

2009-03-04T10:47:00.000-08:00

The lesser known relative of depression, anxiety, afflicts people of all ages and can be especially detrimental for teenagers. It is completely normal and even common for individuals to experience anxiety, particularly during stressful periods, such as before a test or important date (think Prom). For many, this is beneficial, serving as motivation to study hard and perform well; however, for many, anxiety goes beyond standard high-stress periods. While occasional stress is nothing to worry about and can even be healthy, many people experience anxiety on an ongoing basis. People, especially teenagers, who suffer from anxiety disorders, find that their daily life can be interrupted by the intense, often long-lasting fear or worry.

Anxiety disorders are not fatal; however, they can severely interfere with an individual's ability to function normally on a daily basis. The intense feelings of fear and worry often lead to a lack of sleep as it makes it very difficult for people to fall asleep. Those with anxiety disorders also commonly suffer from physical manifestations of the anxiety. The anxiety can cause headaches, stomach aches, and even vomiting. In addition stress can cause individuals to lose their appetite or have trouble eating. One of the more difficult aspects for students to deal with is difficulty concentrating. When one is consumed with worry, his or her mind continuously considers the worrisome thoughts, making it considerably harder for teenagers to concentrate on school work and other mentally intensive tasks. These affects of anxiety can make it difficult for teenagers to simply get through the day, let alone enjoy life and relax.

While there seems to be no single cause of anxiety disorders, it is clear that they can run in a family. The fact that anxiety disorders can run in families indicates that there may be a genetic or hereditary connection. Because a family member may suffer from an anxiety disorder does not necessarily mean that you will. However, individuals who have family members with this disorder are far more likely to develop it.

Within the brain, neurotransmitters help to regulate mood, so an imbalance in the level of specific neurotransmitters can cause a change in mood. It is this imbalance in a neurotransmitter called serotonin that leads to anxiety. Interestingly, an imbalance of serotonin in the brain is directly related to depression. For this reason, SSRI medications, more commonly referred to as anti-depressants, are often used to help treat an anxiety disorder. Medication can provide significant relief for those suffering from anxiety disorders; however, it is often not the most efficient form of treatment.

In addition to medication, treatments for anxiety disorders include cognitive-behavioral therapy, other types of talk therapy, and relaxation and biofeedback to control muscle tension. Talk therapy can be the most effective treatment for teenagers, as they discuss their feelings and issues with a mental health professional. Many teens find it incredibly helpful to simply talk about the stress and anxiety that they feel. Additionally, in a specific kind of talk therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy teens actively "unlearn" some of their fear. This treatment teaches individuals a new way to approach fear and anxiety and how to deal with the feelings that they experience.

Many people attempt to medicate themselves when they suffer from stress or anxiety. While individuals find different ways to deal with the intense worry that they may experience, self medication can be very detrimental to their body. It is not uncommon for people who suffer from anxiety disorders to turn to alcohol or drugs to relieve the anxiety. While this may provide a temporary fix for the afflicted, in the long run it is harmful. By relying on these methods, individuals do not learn how to deal with the anxiety naturally. Reliance on other substances can also lead to alcohol or drug abuse, which can be an especially significant problem if it is developed during the teen years.

Statistics on teen anxiety show that anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental disorders among adolescents:

8-10 percent of adolescents suffer from an anxiety disorder

Symptoms of an anxiety disorder include: anger, depression, fatigue, extreme mood swings, substance abuse, secretive behavior, changes in sleeping and eating habits, bad hygiene or meticulous attention to, compulsive or obsessive behavior

One in eight adult Americans suffer from an anxiety disorder totaling 19 million people
Research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem among American women and are second only to alcohol and drug abuse among men

Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. $46.6 billion annually

Anxiety sufferers see an average of five doctors before being successfully diagnosed

Learn more click here.

Sue Scheff: Teens and Sleeping Pills

2009-02-19T06:28:00.001-08:00

Source: Connect with Kids

“Part of it I think now is there is so much more pressure in the academic settings. There are kids who are working tremendous numbers of hours each evening to get their schoolwork done. I get a sense that many of them worry about how they are doing academically, and that tends to spill over into difficulties with sleep.”

– Richard Winer, M.D., Psychiatrist

Whether it’s an over-the-counter medication like Nyquil, or a prescription drug like Ambien or Sonata, more and more teens say they often take something to get to sleep.

“It’s mainly just stress… you want to study and then you realize you need to sleep because you have a test the next day and then you just take something,” says Chelsea, 19.

“An Ambien to knock me out,” adds 19-year-old Jessica.

“I’ll take Nyquil or something like that, just to help me get to sleep easier,” explains Allison, 19.

Why do kids today need help getting to sleep? Experts say there are several answers: greater academic pressure, more stimulation late at night, with cell phones, TV, computer games, instant messaging, more kids with ADHD taking stimulants like Ritalin, and an explosion in the use of caffeine drinks.

The result: at bedtime, many kids are looking for help in a pill.

“Our culture is certainly turned more toward a living better through chemistry approach,” say Psychiatrist Richard Winer, M.D.

He says the problem is the obvious: Sleeping aids can be habit forming. “My bias is toward keeping kids away from medication for sleep if at all possible. Because you don’t want to create some habits that’ll be even harder to break as time goes on in adulthood.”

He says for many kids, the solution is routine: Relax for a while, and then go to bed at the same time every night.

But, for some, the problem is more serious.

“There are a number of kids out there that have honest to goodness insomnia difficulties,” says Dr. Winer, “They have sleep disorders that do require treatment.”

Tips for Parents

A study performed by researchers at Stanford University found that teenagers require approximately one to two hours more sleep than 9- and 10-year-olds, who only require about eight hours of sleep. This goes against the school of thought that allows older kids to stay up later. Parents may want to be on the lookout for the following things, which could be caused from sleep deprivation:

Difficulty waking in the morning
Irritability in the afternoon
Falling asleep during the day
Oversleeping on the weekend
Having difficulty remembering or concentrating
Waking up often and having trouble going back to sleep
Sleep deprivation also can lead to extreme moodiness, poor performance in school and depression. Teens who aren’t getting enough sleep also have a higher risk of having car accidents because of falling asleep behind the wheel.

As the lives of children seem to be getting busier, their sleeping habits may be one of the first things impacted. Sleep, though being something that often gets sacrificed, is actually one of the most important things in a child’s life. Experts say taking sleep medications unauthorized by the FDA for teenage consumption is not the answer, however. Here are some suggestions about sleep:

Sleep is as important as food and air. Quantity and quality are very important. Most people need between seven-and-a-half to eight-and-a-half hours of uninterrupted sleep. If you want to press the snooze alarm in the morning you are not getting the sleep you need. This could be due to not enough time in bed, external disturbances or a sleep disorder.

Keep regular hours. Try to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time every day. Getting up at the same time is most important. Getting bright light, like the sun, when you get up will also help. Try to go to bed only when you are sleepy. Bright light in the morning at a regular time should help you feel sleepy at the same time every night.

Stay away from stimulants like caffeine. This will help you get deep sleep, which is most refreshing. If you take any caffeine, take it in the morning. Avoid all stimulants in the evening, including chocolate, caffeinated sodas and caffeinated teas. They will delay sleep and increase awakenings during the night.

Use the bed just for sleeping. Avoid watching television, using laptop computers or reading in bed. Bright light from these activities and subject matter may inhibit sleep. If it helps to read before sleeping, make sure you use a very small wattage bulb to read. A 15-watt bulb should be enough.

Avoid bright light around the house before bed. Using dimmer switches in living rooms and bathrooms before bed can be helpful. Dimmer switches can be set to maximum brightness for morning routines.

Don't stress if you feel you are not getting enough sleep. It will just make matters worse. Know you will sleep eventually.

Avoid exercise near bedtime. No exercise at least three hours before bed.

Don't go to bed hungry. Have a light snack, but avoid a heavy meal before bed.

Bedtime routines are helpful for good sleep.

Avoid looking at the clock if you wake up in the middle of the night. It can cause anxiety.
If you can't get to sleep for over 30 minutes, get out of bed and do something boring in dim light till you are sleepy.

Keep your bedroom at a comfortable temperature.
If you have problems with noise in your environment, you can use a white noise generator. A fan will work.

References
American Sleep Apnea Association
National Sleep Foundation
Shuteye
Thomson Reuters

Sue Scheff: Low Self Esteem - Teen Depression

2009-02-07T11:57:00.000-08:00

Teen low self esteem can lead to teen depression. Author Gary Nelson has written a most compelling story of his journey with his son and family dealing with teen depression in his new book.

Read his recent post - that can help many parents take a moment to pause and consider their own teens and how they are feeling.

Source: Dr. Gary Nelson - Author of “A Relentless Hope, Surviving Teen Depression’
Depression hides under a lot of rocks, including “low self-esteem.” It is truly amazing how many different ways depression can hide and fail to be recognized for what it is - a potentially very dangerous illness that can wreck and even take the lives of teens and adults. Many times I’ve listened as a pastoral counselor and pastor as teens have told me that they believed for a long time that they had suffered from “low self-esteem.” In most cases that meant they had been suffering from depression but never knew it. They and others around them simply thought they had “low self-esteem.” That also means the teen went all that time suffering instead of getting the necessary help. Learn to look under the rocks. When you hear a teen say they just suffer from “low self-esteem,” take a closer look. You might just lead them toward the help they need.
For more information on teen depression check my website: www.survivingteendepression.com

My new book, “A Relentless Hope: Surviving the Storm of Teen Depression” is available at Amazon and other outlets.

Sue Scheff: Parenting Blogs and Parenting Teens

2009-02-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

"It's not enough in today's challenging world to just love our kids. We must give them the tools to be prepared to cope with life’s challenges in a caring and humane way. It's our job to give them the direction they need to avoid negative influences, and become successful, caring human beings. We all need to work together... educators, moms, dads, caretakers, communities... we all have a stake in helping our kids create a better world... as a mom of three, I've been there." – Dr. Michele Borba

Depressed Teens and New Years Resolution by Gary Nelson

2009-01-23T14:51:00.000-08:00

Teens suffering from depression and related illnesses like anxiety and bipolar disorder find it very difficult to even make New Year's resolutions, let alone keep them. Depression and its relatives very quickly tend to overwhelm teens. When faced with the idea of change depressed teens often see a mountain so huge that it seemingly can never be climbed or chiseled slowly into a molehill. They quickly feel overwhelmed and often respond with some thought or statement like, "It's too big. I'll never be able to do it... so why bother to even try." The teen then falls deeper into their pit of despair. One of the first things that the depression "steals" from the depressed teen is their ability to take large, seemingly impossible tasks and break them into smaller, manageable pieces. Most of us take this ability for granted and practice this making of mountains into manageable molehills everyday. Depressed teens want to change. They want healing. They just don't see a way over the mountain. The depression has them hog-tied, leaving the teens looking like they're just lazy and don't "want" to try. These depressed teens need help, not judgement. They need hope. For more information on this and other aspects of teen depression check out my new book, A Relentless Hope: Surviving the Storm of Teen Depression. If you have a teen who is struggling you might also want to check out Sue Scheff's new book, Wit's End.

Sue Scheff: ADHD ODD - Parenting the Defiant Teen

2009-01-12T15:12:00.001-08:00

As a mom of an ADHD son, I remember the adolescent years - they were not always the easiest. ADDitude Magazine has some great parenting tips, ideas and answers to help parents today. Years ago I don’t recall as much information was available to us.

Source: ADDitude Magazine

ADHD behavior issues often partner with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) — making discipline a challenge. Try these strategies for parents of ADD kids.
Every parent of a child with attention deficit disorder knows what it’s like to deal with ADHD behavior problems — sometimes a child lashes out or refuses to comply with even the most benign request. But about half of all parents who have children with live with severe behavior problems and discipline challenges on an almost daily basis.

That’s because 40 percent of children with ADHD also develop oppositional defiant disorder, a condition marked by chronic aggression, frequent outbursts, and a tendency to argue, ignore requests, and engage in intentionally annoying behavior.

How bad can it get? Consider these real-life children diagnosed with both ADHD and ODD:
A 4-year-old who gleefully annoys her parents by blasting the TV at top volume as soon she wakes up.

A 7-year-old who shouts “No” to every request and who showers his parents with verbal abuse.
An 11-year-old who punches a hole in the wall and then physically assaults his mother.

“I call them tiny terrors,” says Douglas Riley, Ph.D., author of The Defiant Child and a child psychologist in Newport News, Virginia. “These children are most comfortable when they’re in the middle of a conflict. As soon as you begin arguing with them, you’re on their turf. They keep throwing out the bait, and their parents keep taking it — until finally the parents end up with the kid in family therapy, wondering where they’ve gone wrong.”

The strain of dealing with an oppositional child affects the entire family. The toll on the marital relationship can be especially severe. In part, this is because friends and relatives tend to blame the behavior on ‘bad parenting.’ Inconsistent discipline may play a role in the development of ODD, but is rarely the sole cause. The unfortunate reality is that discipline strategies that work with normal children simply don’t work with ODD kids.

Fortunately, psychologists have developed effective behavior therapy for reining in even the most defiant child. It’s not always easy, but it can be done — typically with the help of specialized psychotherapy.

Looking for links

No one knows why so many kids with ADHD exhibit oppositional behavior. In many cases, however, oppositional behavior seems to be a manifestation of ADHD-related impulsivity.
“Many ADHD kids who are diagnosed with ODD are really showing oppositional characteristics by default,” says Houston-based child psychologist Carol Brady, Ph.D. “They misbehave not because they’re intentionally oppositional, but because they can’t control their impulses.”
Another view is that oppositional behavior is simply a way for kids to cope with the frustration and emotional pain associated with having ADHD.

“When under stress — whether it’s because they have ADHD or their parents are getting divorced — a certain percentage of kids externalize the anxiety and depression they’re feeling,” says Larry Silver, M.D., a psychiatrist at Georgetown University Medical School in Washington, D.C. “Everything becomes everyone else’s fault, and the child doesn’t take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.”

Riley agrees. “Children with ADHD know from a young age that they’re different from other kids,” he says. “They see themselves as getting in more trouble, and in some cases may have more difficulty mastering academic work — often despite an above-average intellect. So instead of feeling stupid, their defense is to feel cool. They hone their oppositional attitude.”
About half of all preschoolers diagnosed with ODD outgrow the problem by age 8. Older kids with ODD are less likely to outgrow it. And left untreated, oppositional behavior can evolve into conduct disorder, an even more serious behavioral problem marked by physical violence, stealing, running away from home, fire-setting, and other highly destructive and often illegal behaviors.

Getting treatment

Any child with ADHD who exhibits signs of oppositional behavior needs appropriate treatment. The first step is to make sure that the child’s ADHD is under control. “Since oppositional behavior is often related to stress,” says Silver, “you have to address the source of the stress — the ADHD symptoms — before turning to behavioral issues.”

Says Riley, “If a kid is so impulsive or distracted that he can’t focus on the therapies we use to treat oppositional behavior,” he says, “he isn’t going to get very far. And for many ADHD kids with oppositional behavior, the stimulant medications are a kind of miracle. A lot of the bad behavior simply drops off.”

But ADHD medication is seldom all that’s needed to control oppositional behavior. If a child exhibits only mild or infrequent oppositional behavior, do-it-yourself behavior-modification techniques (see Getting Your Child to Behave) may well do the trick. But if the oppositional behavior is severe enough to disrupt life at home or school, it’s best to consult a family therapist trained in childhood behavioral problems.

Sue Scheff - Teen Depression and Inhalant Abuse

2009-01-04T06:50:00.000-08:00

As the new year has started, parents need to become more educated and informed about today's teens and the issues they face.

Many parents know about substance abuse, and teach our kids to say no to drugs - but do you know about Inhalants? Ordinary household items that can be lethal to teens looking for a quick and inexpensive high? More importantly, sometimes deadly high.

Parent learn more about Inhalant Abuse.

Here is a great "talking tips" page from The Alliance for Consumer Education (ACE) - take the time to learn more today. You could save a child's life.

Sue Scheff - Teen Depression and the Holidays

2008-12-22T11:56:00.000-08:00

We hear about many people that are suffering this year with saddness and depression. Whether it is an economy that leaves us frustrated we can’t give our kids what we would like to, or simply the feeling of hopefulessness.

Teens can suffer too. Teen Depression can lead to negative behavior and sometimes worse.
Learn more about Teen Depression.

Teenage depression is more than just bad moods or broken hearts; it is a very serious clinical illness that will affect approximately 20% of teens before they reach adulthood. Left untreated, depression can lead to difficult home situations, problems at school, drug abuse, and worse, violence toward themselves and others.

Certain young teens suffer from depression as result of situations surrounding their social or family life, but many are succeptable to the disease regardless of race, gender, income level or education. It is very important for parents to keep a watch on their teens - and to maintain a strong level of communication. Understanding the causes and warning signs of the illness can help parents prevent their teens from falling in to depression.

Learn more about surviving Teen Depression in Gary E. Nelson’s book, A Relentless Hope: Suviving the Storm of Teen Depression.

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens - Teen Runaways

2008-12-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

Teen Runaways are on the increase. Many teens think that the grass is greener on the other side.

They are confused and following the crowd of peers making poor choices. Teens want to escape the "rules of a household" and we as parents, become their number one enemy. They feel that they are fearless and can prove they can survive without their parents and our rules. Rules are put in place for a reason; we love our children and want them to grow up with dignity and respect we try to instill in them. Their flight plan, in some ways, is a cry for attention. Many times runaways are back home shortly, however there are other situations that can be more serious. This is not to say any child that runs away is not serious, but when this becomes a habit and is their way of rebelling, a parent needs to intervene.

So many times we hear how "their friend’s parents" allow a much later curfew or are more lenient, and you are the worst parents in the world. This is very common and the parent feels helpless, hopeless and alone. It is all part of the manipulation the teens put us through. With their unappreciative thoughts of us, they will turn to this destructive behavior, which, at times, results in them leaving the home.

Some teens go to a friend's house or relative they believe they can trust and make up stories about their home life. This is very common, a parent has to suffer the pain and humiliation that it causes to compound it with the need to get your child help that they need. If you fear your child is at risk of running, the lines of communication have to be open. We understand this can be difficult, however if possible needs to be approached in a positive manner. Teen help starts with communication.

If you feel this has escalated to where you cannot control them, it may be time for placement and possibly having your child escorted. Please know that the escorts (transports) are all licensed and very well trained in removing children from their home into safe programs. These escorts are also trained counselors that will talk to your child all the way, and your child will end his/her trip with a new friend and a better understanding of why their parents had to resort to this measure.

Helpful Hint if you child has runaway and you are using all your local resources – offer a cash reward to their friends privately, of course promising their anonymity and hopefully someone will know your child’s whereabouts.

Having a teen runaway is very frightening and it can bring you to your wits end. Try to remain positive and hopeful and do all you can to help understand why your child is acting out this way. These are times when parents need to seek help for themselves. Don’t be ashamed to reach out to others. We are all about parents helping parents.

Learn more visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teen Depression

2008-11-20T06:13:00.000-08:00

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teen Depression

2008-11-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

Teenage depression is more than just bad moods or broken hearts; it is a very serious clinical illness that will affect approximately 20% of teens before they reach adulthood. Left untreated, depression can lead to difficult home situations, problems at school, drug abuse, and worse, violence toward themselves and others.

Certain young teens suffer from depression as result of situations surrounding their social or family life, but many are succeptable to the disease regardless of race, gender, income level or education. It is very important for parents to keep a watch on their teens - and to maintain a strong level of communication. Understanding the causes and warning signs of the illness can help parents prevent their teens from falling in to depression.

My name is Sue Scheff™ and I understand how difficult it can be dealing with a troubled teenager because I have been there! My experiences lead to the founding Parents Universal Resource Experts, an organization dedicated to parental support, education and resources. I work with parents like you every day, looking for help and answers in desperation. You are not alone!This website is dedicated to the bringing parents the best information about teenage depression; causes, symptoms, statistics and preventative measures.

Please visit our newly added informative section on teenage anxiety, the lesser known, but equally serious, relative of depression.Learn more click here.

Sue Scheff: Mistreated Depression

2008-10-30T10:19:00.001-07:00

Source: Connect with Kids

“Basically, psychiatrists are pretty busy. They don’t want to spend a lot of time with people. They want to get people in and out, maybe two or three an hour. … It pays better to do that than spending an hour doing psychotherapy.”

– David Gore, Ph.D., clinical psychologist

Fifteen-year-old Sarah McMenamin suffers from depression. It started a year ago with the death of her father.

“I was just like, ‘I just want to die,’” she says, describing her feeling before seeing a therapist. “I would never kill myself, but I just wish I was dead, I just wish I was never going to wake up.”

For depressed teens, experts at the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry say what can help is medicine – combined with talk therapy.

“I think the therapist helped me,” explains Sarah, “’cause it was talking, you know, I got it out. I didn’t bottle everything up.”

“The advantage to getting some therapy along with medication is that you get to the root of the problem,” explains Dr. David Gore, clinical psychologist. “You get to see why you’re feeling that way. And if you start understanding why you’re feeling that way, chances are pretty good you’ll stop feeling that way.”

But according to a new study from Thomson-Reuters, more teens than ever are getting medication without psychotherapy. Why? Gore has an answer.

“Basically, psychiatrists are pretty busy,” Dr. Gore says. “They don’t want to spend a lot of time with people. They want to get people in and out, maybe two or three an hour. … It pays better to do that than spending an hour doing psychotherapy.”

Three months ago, Sarah started seeing a new doctor.

“Right away he put me on Zoloft,” she says. “He didn’t even know me for an hour and he put me on it.”

But psychologists say medicine alone just won’t work as well.

“You take your pill, you’ll get some immediate relief,” explains Dr. Gore, “but the problem’s going to crop up again in two months or four months or six months. You’ve got to get to the root of the problem.”

Sarah will resume talk therapy again in a few months. She says she is looking forward to it.

“You get it out on the table and you know your feelings’” she says, “and you go in thinking it’s one thing and you come out finding out it’s like 10 different things and you’re like, ‘Wow.’”

Tips for Parents

All teens experience ups and downs. Every day poses a new test of their emotional stability – fighting with a friend, feeling peer pressure to “fit in” with a particular crowd or experiencing anxiety over a failed quiz – all of which can lead to normal feelings of sadness or grief. These feelings are usually brief and subside with time, unlike depression, which is more than feeling blue, sad or down in the dumps once in a while.

According to the Nemours Foundation, depression is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair or hopelessness that lasts for weeks, months or even longer. It also interferes with a person’s ability to participate in normal activities. Often, depression in teens is overlooked because parents and teachers feel that unhappiness or “moodiness” is typical in young people. They blame hormones or other factors for teens’ feelings of sadness or grief, which leaves many teens undiagnosed and untreated for their illness.

The Mayo Clinic reports that sometimes a stressful life event triggers depression. Other times, it seems to occur spontaneously, with no identifiable specific cause. However, certain risk factors may be associated with developing the disorder. Johns Hopkins University cites the following risk factors for becoming depressed:

Children under stress who have experienced loss or who suffer attention, learning or conduct disorders are more susceptible to depression.

Girls are more likely than boys to develop depression.

Youth, particularly younger children, who develop depression are likely to have a family history of the disorder.

If you suspect that your teen is clinically depressed, it is important to evaluate his or her symptoms and signs as soon as possible. The National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association cites the following warning signs indicating that your teen may suffer from depression:

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation or anxiety
Pessimism or indifference
Loss of energy or persistent lethargy
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
Inability to concentrate and indecisiveness
Inability to take pleasure in former interests or social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

It is important to acknowledge that teens may experiment with drugs or alcohol or become sexually promiscuous to avoid feelings of depression. According to the National Mental Health Association, teens may also express their depression through other hostile, aggressive, risk-taking behaviors. These behaviors will only lead to new problems, deeper levels of depression and destroyed relationships with friends and family, as well as difficulties with law enforcement or school officials.

The development of newer antidepressant medications and mood-stabilizing drugs in the last 20 years has revolutionized the treatment of depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, and it has become the first line of treatment for most types of the disorder. Psychotherapy may also help teens cope with ongoing problems that trigger or contribute to their depression. A combination of medications and a brief course of psychotherapy are usually effective if a teen suffers from mild to moderate depression. For severely depressed teens, initial treatment usually includes medications. Once they improve, psychotherapy can be more effective.

Immediate treatment of your teen’s depression is crucial. Adolescents and children suffering from depression may turn to suicide if they do not receive proper treatment. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for Americans aged 10-24. The National Association of School Psychologists suggests looking for the following warning signs that may indicate your depressed teen if contemplating suicide:

Suicide notes: Notes or journal entries are a very real sign of danger and should be taken seriously.

Threats: Threats may be direct statements (“I want to die.” “I am going to kill myself”) or, unfortunately, indirect comments (“The world would be better without me.” “Nobody will miss me anyway”). Among teens, indirect clues could be offered through joking or through comments in school assignments, particularly creative writing or artwork.

Previous attempts: If your child or teen has attempted suicide in the past, a greater likelihood that he or she will try again exists. Be very observant of any friends who have tried suicide before.

Depression (helplessness/hopelessness): When symptoms of depression include strong thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness, your teen is possibly at greater risk for suicide. Watch out for behaviors or comments that indicate your teen is feeling overwhelmed by sadness or pessimistic views of his or her future.

“Masked” depression: Sometimes risk-taking behaviors can include acts of aggression, gunplay and alcohol or substance abuse. While your teen does not act “depressed,” his or her behavior suggests that he or she is not concerned about his or her own safety.

Final arrangements: This behavior may take many forms. In adolescents, it might be giving away prized possessions, such as jewelry, clothing, journals or pictures.

Efforts to hurt himself or herself: Self-injury behaviors are warning signs for young children as well as teens. Common self-destructive behaviors include running into traffic, jumping from heights and scratching, cutting or marking his or her body.

Changes in physical habits and appearance: Changes include inability to sleep or sleeping all the time, sudden weight gain or loss and disinterest in appearance or hygiene.

Sudden changes in personality, friends or behaviors: Changes can include withdrawing from friends and family, skipping school or classes, loss of involvement in activities that were once important and avoiding friends.

Plan/method/access: A suicidal child or adolescent may show an increased interest in guns and other weapons, may seem to have increased access to guns, pills, etc., and/or may talk about or hint at a suicide plan. The greater the planning, the greater the potential for suicide.
Death and suicidal themes: These themes might appear in classroom drawings, work samples, journals or homework.

If you suspect suicide, it is important to contact a medical professional immediately. A counselor or psychologist can also help offer additional support.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Foundation for Suicidal Prevention
Johns Hopkins University
Mayo Clinic
National Association of School Psychologists
National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association
National Institute of Mental Health
National Mental Health Association
Nemours Foundation
Thomson-Reuters

Sue Scheff: Teens, Sex and Depression

2008-10-15T15:49:00.001-07:00

Source: Connect with Kids

“It hurts, because I care so much about him.”

– Teagan, 15 years old

Fifteen-year-old Teagan says her new boyfriend is wonderful. “I never thought anyone like Preston could come along,” Teagan says. “He’s the greatest guy I’ve ever known.”

But is she as lucky as she thinks?

Studies show that romantic involvement brings adolescents down, rather than up. What’s more, researchers at the University of North Carolina find that teen girls who are sexually active are twice as likely to be depressed compared to girls not having sex.

But, even among abstinent teens who date, one of the problems is trust.

“Say your boyfriend went off to work and never called you that day,” Teagan says. “And you talked every single day on the phone. I mean you’d be kind of concerned and kind of wondering why. And then someone comes along and says ‘well maybe he’s cheating on you…’”

Combine adolescent insecurity with imagination and the result is a lot of questions: Where is he? Why doesn’t she call? Does he really like me? Why is she talking to that other boy?

That’s where most of the stress comes in,” Teagan says. “Getting thoughts in your head about what might be going on, when it probably isn’t going on at all.”

Experts say parents can help ease their child’s pain by listening and taking them seriously. It’s not puppy love to them, it’s real. “It hurts,” Teagan says, “because I care so much about him.”

Experts also advise teaching your child that early relationships may hurt, but they’re indispensable. “They will have many relationships before they finally settle on a life mate,” says Cheryl Benefield, a school counselor. “Let them know that when things happen, it’s maybe just preparing them for a better relationship in the future.”

Tips for Parents
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, boys and girls seem to be equally at risk for depressive disorders during childhood, but during adolescence, girls are twice as likely as boys to develop depression. Family history and stress are listed as factors, but another factor that often causes depression in girls is the break-up of a romantic relationship.

The authors of a study conducted at Cornell University titled “You Don’t Bring Me Anything but Down: Adolescent Romance and Depression,” found that females become “more depressed than males in adolescence partly as a consequence of their involvement in romantic relationships.” The reason? According to the study, “females’ greater vulnerability to romantic involvement explains a large part of the emerging sex difference in depression during adolescence.”

At any given time, five percent of children suffer from depression. Children under stress, who have experienced a loss, or who suffer from other disorders are at a higher risk for depression. Here are some signs of depression from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (if one or more of these signs of depression persist, parents should seek help):

Frequent sadness, tearfulness, crying
Hopelessness
Decreased interest in activities, or inability to enjoy previously favorite activities
Persistent boredom; low energy
Social isolation, poor communication
Low self-esteem and guilt
Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure
Increased irritability, anger or hostility
Difficulty with relationships
Frequent complaints of physical illnesses such as headaches and stomachaches
Frequent absences from school or poor performance in school
Poor concentration
A major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns
Talk of or efforts to run away from home
Thoughts or expressions of suicide or self destructive behavior
Getting an early diagnosis and medical treatment are critical for depressed children.

Depression is a serious condition, which, if left untreated, can even become life threatening. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, leading to nearly 4,000 deaths a year. The rate has tripled since 1960. Therapy can help teenagers understand why they are depressed and learn how to handle stressful situations. Treatment may consist of individual, group or family counseling. Medications prescribed by a psychiatrist may be needed to help teens feel better.

Ways of treating depression include:

Psychotherapy: to explore events and feelings that are painful and troubling. Psychotherapy also teaches coping skills.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy: to help teens change negative patterns of thinking and behaving.
Interpersonal therapy: to focus on ways of developing healthier relationships at home and school.
Medication: to relieve some symptoms of depression (often prescribed along with therapy).
References
Journal of Health and Social Behavior
National Institute of Mental Health
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
National Mental Health Association
University of North Carolina

Sue Scheff: Following the Rules

2008-09-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

By Lisa Medoff

Nina posted some questions about her 10-year-old daughter lying about eating and drinking in the bedroom and watching TV with the door closed. Nina wants to how she can tell if her daughter is deliberately lying or simply forgetful, as her daughter was a micro-preemie, and Nina is worried that her premature birth has affected her behavior and memory.

Nina is also wondering about the best way to encourage her daughter to tell the truth about her behavior.

Her husband feels that their daughter plays both of her parents against each other, and he punishes her by saying that he is not going to take her anywhere for the summer; she won’t be allowed to go bike riding or have other interesting adventures. Nina wants to know if these are apt punishments for her daughter’s behavior.

Unfortunately for parents, there is no absolute, surefire way to determine if your child is deliberately lying or has simply forgotten the rules. Therefore, instead of spending your time trying to figure out if your daughter is lying, shift your focus to trying to help her remember the rules.

Tell your daughter, “I can see that it has been hard for you to remember our rules about not eating in the bedroom and watching TV with the door closed. Let’s see if we can figure out a way to help you remember.”
Try different ways to help her with her memory, such as having her write sticky notes with the rules and posting them near the TV, or making poster collages with pictures of food that is crossed out.

Any extra practice with memory tricks will be helpful for children who have experienced developmental difficulties.

Tell her that even though it may be hard for her to remember, she will still need to learn the consequences for breaking the rules.

Discuss what those consequences will be and follow through on them every time. She needs to see that the end result is the same, whether she lies or forgets, and you won’t have to waste time or energy trying to figure out if she is lying.

Be on the lookout for times when she does remember the rules. Give lots of positive attention, such as saying, “I noticed that you finished your snack in the kitchen before you went in to watch television. You must feel good about remembering to follow the rules. I’m really proud of you.”

Make a behavior chart to keep track of days where she was able to follow the rules.

Think of rewards that she can earn after a week or a month of good days.

In terms of the consequences, discipline works better if it is specific, immediate, is appropriate for the situation, and allows the child to make up for breaking the rules.

For example, a consequence of eating where she is not supposed to could be having to clean and vacuum the area.

Read entire article here: http://www.education.com/magazine/column/entry/Following_the_Rules/

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Tips for When Your Child Starts Dating

2008-09-23T04:43:00.000-07:00

Source: OneToughJob

Your Child's Behavior at 12 -15 years old

As your child moves from childhood into the teenage years, she will encounter many social and cultural challenges. It is an exciting time and yet a scary time for your child. As she moves more toward independence, she will be convinced she knows everything, you know nothing and you were literally born yesterday. In fact, at this time, she needs you more than ever. By knowing what to expect at this stage of your child's life, you are better equipped to interact effectively with her. By communicating clearly with your child and listening to what she has to say and the emotions she is expressing, you can help your child through this stage.

Tips for Dating

1.Talk with your child about what she hopes for from dating and from relationships.2.Let her know your concerns and hopes for her as she goes out on dates.3.Know who your child is hanging out with and dating.4.Talk with the parents of those kids.5.Set clear rules about who can be with her in your home when there are no adults present.6.Teach manners and how to be respectful of others.8.Let your child know she can always call home if she is uncomfortable or feels worried.9.Tell your child to have fun—dating should be fun.

SOS - Teen Peer Pressure

2008-09-11T09:33:00.001-07:00

I was just recommended this dynamic book by Dr. Lisa Medoff and can’t wait to read it! As a Parent Advocate, this can be one of the most trying times for parents as school is opening. Today with issues surrounding social networking, compounded with peer pressure - “Stressed Out Students” are at risk of making not so good choices.

Here is the recent Press Release about “SOS” - which can be purchased on Amazon today!

SOS: STRESSED OUT STUDENT’S

GUIDE TO HANDLING PEER PRESSURE

Lisa Medoff, PhD

In a society overloaded with media that glamorizes sex, drinking, and drugs, and where any outrageous, dangerous, humiliating thing a person does can be caught on a cell phone and posted on the internet for all to see, teens are feeling forced to succumb to peer pressure like never before. As peers become the pseudo “paparazzi,” teens need somewhere to turn for answers that give them the strength to reject the constant pressure to “fit in.”

Now Kaplan - widely respected for helping millions of students prepare for every aspect of academic life - steps outside the classroom to guide teens, parents, and educators on the ever-increasing pressure-cooker of adolescence. Its SOS: Stressed Out Student’s Guide series offers realistic advice written by students, for students, on the topics of most concern to today’s teens. Every book in the motivational series also features advice from Education.com columnist, educator, and psychologist Lisa Medoff, PhD, who works with troubled teens and teachers in high-risk school districts.

SOS: STRESSED OUT STUDENT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING PEER PRESSURE (Kaplan Publishing; September, 2008) hones in on and tackles the scourge of peer pressure and its effects on teenagers. As Dr. Medoff assures readers, “This book will help teens sort out the different influences that peer pressure is having on them. It will show them how peer pressure can manipulate them into making some very bad, life altering decisions about drugs, sex, cheating, stealing, and being cruel to others. They’ll learn to trust themselves and be proud of who they are.”

Featuring frank, realistic language plus an engaging, highly illustrated layout, SOS: STRESSED OUT STUDENT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING PEER PRESSURE is designed to appeal to the modern teenager’s eye, attention span, and need for quick gratification. It is also an imperative handbook for adults who want to understand and open the lines of communication with the adolescents in their lives.

Without preaching, each of the ten easy to read chapters in SOS: STRESSED OUT STUDENT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING PEER PRESSURE is packed with explanations, scenarios, stats, and fascinating facts such as:

· 1 in 4 sexually active teens becomes infected with an STD each year.

· Nationally, 6 out of 10 girls who had sex before the age of 15 report that it was involuntary.

· Teens and juveniles make up 25% of all shoplifters, though not all steal because they want something. Many teens shoplift compulsively because of stress, anxiety, psychological problems, or abuse.

· Teens with a history of habitually ditching school are also found to be at greater risk for involvement with gangs, drugs, alcohol, or violence.

Along with SOS: Stressed Out Student’s Guide to Saying No to Cheating and SOS: Stressed Out Student’s Guide to Dealing With Tests, SOS: STRESS OUT STUDENT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING PEER PRESSURE is one of the exciting books in Kaplan’s new series SOS: Stressed Out Student’s Guides.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lisa Medoff, PhD holds a B.A. in psychology, a Masters degree in school counseling and a PhD in child and adolescent development. She has taught courses at Stanford University, Santa Clara University, San Jose State University and DeAnza College. She has worked with all types of children including students with special needs, ADHD, learning disabilities, depression, and anxiety. Lisa Medoff, understands the needs and mind-set of modern teenagers, and has mastered the difficult task of appropriately reaching out to them at their tumultuous life stage.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Drug Use

2008-09-04T07:50:00.001-07:00

Why do they start? What Should I Look For?

A major factor in drug use is peer pressure. Even teens who think they're above the influence of peer pressure can often find it hard to refuse trying drugs when they believe their popularity is at stake. Teens may feel that taking drugs or alcohol to fit in is safer than becoming a perceived social exile, and may not realize that their friends will not abandon them simply for refusing a joint or bottle of beer. A popular adage that is thrown around regarding peer pressure says if your friends would abandon you for not accepting an illegal substance, they're not "real" friends- but try telling this to a teenager. A more effective method is to acknowledge the pressure to fit in and work with your teen to find solutions to these problems before they arise. Suggest that your teen offer to be the designated driver at parties, and work with them to develop a strategy for other situations.

Even agreeing to back your teen up on a carefully crafted story can help enforce your bond with them- giving them the okay to tell their friends to blame you or that you give them random drug tests will go a long way. Knowing they have your support in such a sensitive subject can alleviate many of their fears, and knowing they can trust you helps instill the idea they can come to you with other problems. This is also an excellent time to remind them to never allow friends to drive under the influence and to never get into a car with someone under the influence. Reassure your teenager that if they should give in to peer pressure and become intoxicated or high, or if they have no sober ride home though they are sober themselves that it is always okay to call you for a ride home. Some parents may want to consider getting teens a cell phone for emergency use, or giving them an emergency credit card for cab fare.

Depression is another major factor in drug use. For more in depth information on teenage depression, please visit Sue Scheff™'s Teen Depression Resource. Despite the fact that many substances actually make depression worse, teenagers may be lured in by the initial high, which in theory is only replenished by more drugs. Thus begins the vicious cycle that becomes nearly impossible to break without costly rehabilitation. If you notice your teen is acting differently, it may be time to have a talk with them to address these changes. Remember- do not accuse your teen or criticize them. Drug use is a serious cry for help, and making them feel ashamed or embarrassed can make the problem worse. Some common behavior changes you may notice if your teen is abusing drugs and alcohol are:

Violent outbursts, disrespectful behavior
Poor or dropping grades
Unexplained weight loss or gain
Skin abrasions, track marks
Missing curfew, running away, truancy
Bloodshot eyes, distinct "skunky" odor on clothing and skin
Missing jewelry money
New friends
Depression, apathy, withdrawal
Reckless behavior

The Ballad of the Adopted Child by Jeanne Droullard

2008-09-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

DOES your teen,

- always seem angry?
- have anger that turns into rage?
- show signs of depression, i.e., withdrawal, slipping grades?
- show disrespect to you or disrespect people in authority?
- self-protect by keeping people at a distance?
- lie, manipulate and steal?
- ever talk about his/her biological parents?
- want to find his/her biological parents?

DO you,

- feel comfortable about your teen's behavior?
- recognize signs of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)?
- believe you must be adopted to show signs of RAD?
- understand what is meant by the Primal Wound?
- think it makes a difference at what age a child is adopted?
- understand bonding and how it can be disrupted?
- understand the fear and pain of an adoptee?
- understand adoptee' difficulty in trusting and showing love

It can be difficult to know if your adopted teen's anger is normal and within the range of typical teenage behavior. Most teenagers get angry, especially during the years when their bodies are changing and the hormones can bring quick and severe mood swings. All teenagers are searching the world trying to find out who they are and what they want to become. They all want to know how the world will affect them and how they will affect the world.

If not addressed as a child, an adopted teenager has a duality of conflicts to overcome. Whether adopted as a baby or as an older child, this teenager has had a separation from the birth mother and this is a strong link that is not forgotten. Nancy Verrier calls this the Primal Wound. In the womb, Psychologists now agree that the child is very aware of the mother, how she smells, how she laughs and feels, even how she sounds. The baby has been inside the womb for nine months. This baby even realizes if it was a wanted pregnancy or an unwanted pregnancy - this baby knows. It also has an awareness of the physical, mental and emotional connection with the mother. Bonding begins before physical birth and possibly shortly after conception. Many professionals used to laugh at this idea and thought it impossible for a little baby to know and remember being separated from its birth mother. Alas, the tide has changed and the professionals now believe that this child couldn't help but know the separation from the birth mom that carried it - and this is the primal wound that stays with that child forever.

Read entire article here: http://www.helpyourteens.com/adoption/index.html

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teen Peer Pressure

2008-08-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

Peer Pressure leads to “Good Teens Making Bad Choices” which is very common today.

Teen Peer Pressure can be extremely damaging to a pre-teen or teen that is desperately trying to fit in somewhere – anywhere in their school. They are not sure what group they belong in, and those that are suffering with low self esteem can end up fitting more comfortably with the less than desirable peers. This can be the beginning of a downward spiral. When a child doesn’t have confidence of who they are or where they belong, it can lead to the place that is easiest to fit in – usually the not the best crowd.

Keeping your child involved in activities such as sports, music and school clubs can help give them a place where they belong. We always encourage parents to find the one thing that truly interests their child, whether it is a musical instrument, swimming, golf, diving, dance, chess club, drama, etc. It is important to find out what their interests are and help them build on it. Encourage them 100%. They don’t need to be the next Tiger Woods, but they need to enjoy what they are doing and keep busy doing it. Staying busy in a constructive way is always beneficial.

It is very common with many parents that contact us that their child has fallen into the wrong crowd and has become a follower rather than a leader. They are making bad choices, choices they know better however the fear of not fitting in with their friends sways them to make the wrong decisions. Low self esteem can attribute to this behavior, and if it has escalated to a point of dangerous situations such as legal issues, substance use, gang related activity, etc. it may be time to seek outside help. Remember, don’t be ashamed of this, it is very common today and you are not alone. So many parents believe others will think it is a reflection of their parenting skills, however with today’s society; the teen peer pressure is stronger than it ever has been. The Internet explosion combined with many teens Entitlement Issues has made today’s generation a difficult one to understand.

It is so important to find the right fit for your child if you are seeking residential treatment. We always encourage *local adolescent counseling prior to any Residential Treatment Programs or Boarding schools, however this is not always necessary. Many parents have an instinct when their child is heading the wrong direction. It is an intuition only a parent can detect. If something doesn’t seem right, it usually isn’t. If your gut is talking to you, you may want to listen or investigate what your child is doing. Parents need to understand that teen peer pressure can influence adolescents in negative ways. Do you know who your child’s friends are?

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/ for more information.

Teens Say School Pressure Is Main Reason For Drug Use

2008-08-18T08:04:00.001-07:00

Source: digtriad.com, Triad, NC

New York — A new study reveals a troubling new insight into the reasons why teens use drugs.The study conducted by the Partnership for a Drug-free America shows that of 6,511 teens, 73% report that school stress and pressure is the main reason for drug use.

Ironically, only 7% of parents believe that teens use drugs to cope with stress.

Second on the list was to “feel cool” (73%), which was previously ranked in the first position. Another popular reason teens said they use drugs was to “feel better about themselves”(65%).Over the past decade, studies have indicated a steady changing trend in what teens perceive as the motivations for using drugs. The “to have fun” rationales are declining, while motivations to use drugs to solve problems are increasing.

On the positive side, the study confirms that overall abuse remains in a steady decline among teens. Marijuana, ecstasy, inhalants, methamphetamine alcohol and cigarette usage continue to decrease.

Additional findings show:

- 1 in 5 teens has abused a prescription medication- Nearly 1 in 5 teens has already abused a prescription painkiller- 41% of teens think it’s safer to abuse a precription drug than it is to use illegal drugs.

Teens continue to take their lives into their own hands when they intentionally abuse prescribed medications, said Pasierb. “Whether it’s to get high or deal with stress, or if they mistakenly believe it will help them perform better in school or sports, teens don’t realize that when used without a prescription, these medicines can be every bit as harmful as illegal street drugs.”

New Study Reveals that 61% of Teens Worry about Physical Appearance

2008-08-06T08:58:00.001-07:00

By Johanna Curtis

Ever wonder how teens see themselves? If you have acne or are a parent of a teen with acne you've probably wondered how an average teen feels about him/herself. We all want a good self-image but acne can make achieving that doubly hard. How does a teen with acne fare relative to a teen with clear skin when it comes to self-image?

Teens in general worry about their looks, compare their physical appearance to friends and feel that physical appearance is important in gaining respect from others. So says a study conducted by OTX- a global consumer research and consulting firm that conducts its research on the Internet. This would be true for a teen who suffers with acne or one that has been lucky enough to escape it.

The "Teen Topix" study was conducted by OTX and the Intelligence Group and surveyed 750 teens aged between 13 and 17 across the country. The questions were centered on the topic of self-image. Questions included how they felt about their physical appearance, how happy they were in certain areas of their lives, what positive influences they had in their lives and what they spent money on to feel better.

By far the most interesting finding of the study was that the majority of teens rated themselves as "somewhat happy" (81%) while more than a third (36%) rated themselves as "very happy". This is indeed a positive finding! Teens are happiest about their friends, talents, special skills, and school performance. Interestingly teens felt happier with how they looked online (e.g. on their My Space profile) (78%) than how they thought they look in real life (68%) suggesting that they felt their online persona to be rather divided from their real life one.

When it came to how the average teen felt about their looks 61% said they felt worried about how they looked and as many as 48% said they compare themselves to their friends. As many as half of the teens surveyed felt that physical appearance influenced the respect they got from others but fewer teens felt that their looks influenced whether other people liked them (33%). Even fewer felt that that looks mattered when it came to a successful career and making money.

But what does the average teen find inspiring or positive? Teens rated girlfriends/boyfriends, religion, parents, teachers, and television shows as positive influences. The majority of teens listed their significant others or their religion as being of great positive support in their lives.

If 61% of teens are concerned with their physical appearance; how do boys and girls with acne breakouts fare in the self-esteem stakes? A study conducted by Harris Interactive for the American Counseling Association (ACA) a few years ago revealed that teenage acne significantly impacted on the self esteem of young adults. Teen acne caused extreme anxiety in most boys and girls and caused their self-image and confidence to be lower than their peers.

"Acne is often a source of anxiety that can impact a teen's self-image and confidence at a critical time in their development," said Dr. Mark Pope, President of the American Counseling Association. "It can affect various aspects of their life such as relationships, schoolwork, and even employment. As counselors, we encourage parents to talk openly with their children about all aspects of growing up".

So there you have it! Acne breakouts in teens can make it harder to survive the social jungle and teens with acne find it harder to cultivate a positive self-image than the average teen. The best way to deal with your self-image is to find sensible teenage acne solutions that work to clear your acne and keep it at bay. Healthy skin can help improve your self-image and means you can continue to grow into adulthood without physical and emotional scars.

Sue Scheff: Inactive Teens by Connect with Kids

2008-07-31T09:38:00.001-07:00

“Make time for [exercise] because once you get out of it, it’s so hard to get back in.”

– Tori, 16 years old

They run and play and participate in all sorts of sports. But what happens when little kids become teens?

“After a while, you just become like a couch potato,” says Tori, 16.

When she was a cheerleader in middle school, Tori got plenty of exercise. Now she’s 16, and she admits she hasn’t exercised regularly in years.

“I’m not physically fit,” she says. “I mean, I’m skinny, but I guess it’s just because I have a fast metabolism. But physically fit? Noooo!”

A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association followed more than one thousand children aged 9 to 15.

97% were active when they were 9-years-old, but by the time they were 15, only 31% of teens were meeting the recommended sixty minutes of vigorous physical activity during the week. And only 17% met that target on the weekend.

The older they got, the less they exercised!

Experts speculate, for some it’s just laziness, for other, interests change, or they’re simply too busy.

Tori agrees: “School starts to get harder, and you get more homework, and you want to spend more time with your friends and you need more sleep.”

Still, experts warn that teens must find a way to remain active otherwise they risk becoming obese or sick later in life. Parents can help by getting involved in activities with their children.

“Whether it’s running and pulling a kite in the wind or going out throwing a Frisbee or going for a walk with your dog, if you incorporate those things, you’re just gonna have a better quality of life,” says Jon Crosby, an Atlanta-based sports and fitness trainer.

Tori’s advice to fellow teens: “Make time for [exercise] because once you get out of it, it’s so hard to get back in.”

Tips for Parents
Many studies have found similar results to the UC- San Diego study. University of Pittsburgh researchers report that as girls age, they increasingly get less and less exercise. In their study, published in The New England Journal of Medicine, the researchers evaluated the exercise habits of 1,213 black girls and 1,166 white girls for 10 years, beginning at age 9 or 10. By the time the girls were 16 or 17, nearly 56% of the black girls and nearly 31% of the white girls reported no regular exercise participation at all outside of school.

While this study focused on teenage girls, other research shows that participation in physical activity is decreasing among all American children. The National Association for Sport & Physical Education reports that only 25% of all U.S. kids are physically active. And while most parents believe that their children are getting enough exercise during school hours, the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports (PCPFS) says that only 17% of middle or junior high schools and 2% of senior high schools require daily physical activity for all students.

As a result of this physical inactivity, more and more children are becoming obese. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 13% of children aged 6 to 11 and 18% of teens aged 12 to 19 are overweight. These same overweight adolescents also have a 70% chance of becoming overweight or obese adults and are at an increased risk for developing health problems, such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and some forms of cancer. In fact, the PCPFS reports that physical inactivity contributes to 300,000 preventable deaths a year in the United States.

Besides preventing the onset of certain diseases, regular physical exercise can also help your child in the following ways, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

Helps control weight
Helps build and maintain healthy bones, muscles and joints
Improves flexibility
Helps burn off stress
Promotes psychological well-being
Reduces feelings of depression and anxiety
As a parent, you need to emphasize to your child the importance of physical activity. This can often be a difficult task, as you may encounter some resistance from a child who enjoys sedentary activities like watching television and surfing the Internet. The American Council on Exercise (ACE) recommends the following guidelines for easing your child into an active lifestyle:

Don’t just tell your child that exercise is fun; show him or her! Get off the couch and go biking, rock climbing or inline skating with your child. Skip rope or shoot baskets with him or her.
Invite your child to participate in vigorous household tasks, such as tending the garden, washing the car or raking leaves. Demonstrate the value of these chores as quality physical activity.
Plan outings and activities that involve some walking, like a trip to the zoo, a nature hike or even a trip to the mall.
Set an example for your child and treat exercise as something to be done on a regular basis, like brushing your teeth or cleaning your room.
Concentrate on the positive aspects of exercise. It can be a chance for your family to have some fun together. Avoid competition, discipline and embarrassment, which can turn good times into bad times. Praise your child for trying and doing.
Keep in mind that your child is not always naturally limber. His or her muscles may be tight and vulnerable to injury during growth spurts. Be sure to include stretching as part of your child’s fitness activities.
Exercise and nutrition go hand in hand. Instead of high-calorie foods and snacks, turn your child on to fruits and low- or non-fat foods.
If you discover that your teen is having trouble staying motivated to exercise, the American Academy of Family Physicians suggests these strategies:

Choose an activity that your child likes to do. Make sure it suits him or her physically, too.
Encourage your child to get a partner. Exercising with a friend can make it more fun.
Tell your child to vary his or her routine. Your child may be less likely to get bored or injured if he or she changes his or her exercise routine. Your child could walk one day and bicycle the next.
Ensure that your child is active during a comfortable time of day. Don’t allow him or her to work out too soon after eating or when it’s too hot or cold outside. And make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids to stay hydrated during physical activity.
Remind your child not to get discouraged. It can take weeks or months before he or she notices some of the changes from and benefits of exercise.
Tell your child to forget “no pain, no gain.” While a little soreness is normal after your child first starts exercising, pain isn’t. He or she should stop if hurt.
With a little encouragement and help from you, your child will be up and moving in no time!

References
American Academy of Family Physicians
American Council on Exercise
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National Association for Sport & Physical Education
Office of the Surgeon General
President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports
The New England Journal of Medicine

The Dangers of Inhalant Abuse

2008-07-25T18:53:00.001-07:00

I know I have Blogged a lot about Inhalant Abuse and I will continue to do so - especially after reading about the recent senseless deaths. Take a moment to read their Blog at http://inhalant-info.blogspot.com/ - Take the time to learn more and you never know when this knowledge will be necessary. http://www.inhalant.org/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Is it a Diet or an Eating Disorder?

2008-07-21T08:06:00.001-07:00

Source: Health A to Z

Your teenager skips meals, becomes obsessed with weight loss and goes on wacky diets. You wonder if this is a passing phase or one of those eating disorders you hear so much about.

While it's a leap to link a teen's poor eating habits to an eating disorder, experts contend poor dieting, if taken to the extreme, can in fact lead to a health-threatening, life-threatening eating disorder.

Pamela Guthrie, an outreach director for the American Anorexia Bulimia Association (AABA) a nonprofit organization dedicated to the prevention and treatment of eating disorders, characterizes eating disorders and disordered eating as different degrees of eating abnormally. Disordered eating may mean frequently missing meals, yo-yo dieting, popping diet pills (diuretics) and cutting out whole groups of food. Eating disorders, she explains, are not triggered solely by the desire to be thin.

"Eating disorders are about food, but they're really not about food," she says. "They are usually about psychological problems, low self-esteem, stress and depression."

People with eating disorders tend to use food to gain a sense of control when they feel out of control, to gain a sense of self-esteem and self-worth, to manage depression and to express anger and rebellion, according to Guthrie, who as outreach director travels around high schools and colleges to educate students about eating disorders.

A growing problem

Both disordered eating habits and eating disorders have grown to be a major problem among teenagers, according to both psychiatric and nutrition experts. And both, they say, are dangerous.

A teenager who has poor eating habits misses out on important vitamins and minerals that help prevent disease later on down the road. A teenager who has an eating disorder runs the risk of serious malnutrition, dehydration, heart disease or heart attack and other serious health consequences, according to AABA.

It's estimated that 90 percent of high school juniors and seniors have been on a diet, although only between 10 percent and 15 percent are overweight, Guthrie says. What's more, 80 percent of 10-year-old girls and 50 percent of 9-year-old girls have been on a diet, according to the Council on Size and Weight Discrimination, a nonprofit organization in New York.

As for true eating disorders, the American Psychiatric Association estimates that between 1 percent and 4 percent of teens and young adults have one type of eating disorder or another, such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Nutritionist Frances Berg, editor of the "Healthy Eating Journal" and author of the book "Afraid to Eat: Children and Teens in Weight Crisis," cautions parents that their own eating habits, particularly if they are rabid dieters, can set their children up for poor and even dangerous eating practices. "Adults keep running after every new weight-loss program or product while their kids watch their bizarre behavior and think it's normal," Berg says.

Eating disorder characteristics

How can you tell whether your child's dieting practices have gone too far and may be signs of an eating disorder? Guthrie says it's important for parents to first educate themselves about good nutrition and eating disorders.

The characteristics of the two eating disorders associated with obsessive weight loss:

People who have anorexia eat very little even though they are thin. They have an intense fear of body fat and weight gain.
People with bulimia tend to binge and purge. That is, they will get rid of food that they have just eaten by vomiting or taking laxatives or diuretics (water pills). They also have a fear of body fat even though their size or weight may be normal for them.
"With an anorexic, the first things to look for are the physical signs. They will show distinct weight loss," Guthrie says. "The signs are harder to see with a bulimic. A parent should look for behaviors, such as a constant obsession with food and weight or constant comments about foods being too fattening."

Another sign of someone having bulimia is not wanting to eat with the rest of the family. "They may want to eat in private, or they go to the bathroom (to purge) after they eat," Guthrie adds.

They may also offer excuses for why they don't want to eat. "They say they're too busy to eat. They're not hungry in the morning. They don't like cafeteria food," Guthrie says.

Parents and school coaches should also be on the lookout for what experts call "exercise bulimia." "Too much exercise can be just as dangerous as purging," Guthrie contends. "If they eat a piece of cake, they think they have to work that off. They exercise several hours every day."

Finally, Guthrie advises parents to look for signs of depression or antisocial behavior closely related to eating disorders. If you suspect your teenager has an eating disorder, don't keep your suspicions to yourself. "Sit down with your child and let them know you're really worried about them," she says.

What is Inhalant Abuse? The Dangers...

2008-07-13T07:29:00.001-07:00

Inhaled chemicals are rapidly absorbed through the lungs into the bloodstream
and quickly distributed to the brain and other organs. Within minutes, the user
experiences intoxication, with symptoms similar to those produced by drinking
alcohol. With Inhalants, however, intoxication lasts only a few minutes, so some
users prolong the “high” by continuing to inhale repeatedly.

Short-term effects include:

headaches, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe
mood swings and violent behavior, belligerence, slurred speech, numbness and
tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, visual disturbances, limb
spasms, fatigue, lack of coordination, apathy, impaired judgment, dizziness,
lethargy, depressed reflexes, stupor, and loss of consciousness.
The Inhalant user will initially feel slightly stimulated and, after successive
inhalations, will feel less inhibited and less in control. Hallucinations may
occur and the user can lose consciousness. Worse, he or she, may even die.
Please see Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome below.

Long-term Inhalant users generally suffer from:

weight loss, muscle weakness,
disorientation, inattentiveness, lack of coordination, irritability and depression.
Different Inhalants produce different harmful effects, and regular abuse of these
substances can result in serious harm to vital organs. Serious, but potentially
reversible, effects include liver and kidney damage. Harmful irreversible effects
include: hearing loss, limb spasms, bone marrow and central nervous system
(including brain) damage.

Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome:

Children can die the first time, or any time, they try an Inhalant. This is
known as Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. While it can occur with many
types of Inhalants, it is particularly associated with the abuse of air conditioning
coolant, butane, propane, and the chemicals in some aerosol products. Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is usually associated with cardiac arrest. The Inhalant causes the heart to beat rapidly and erratically, resulting in cardiac arrest.

www.helpyourteens.com

www.inhalant.org

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Anxiety

2008-07-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

Teen Anxiety

The lesser known relative of depression, anxiety, afflicts people of all ages and can be especially detrimental for teenagers. It is completely normal and even common for individuals to experience anxiety, particularly during stressful periods, such as before a test or important date (think Prom). For many, this is beneficial, serving as motivation to study hard and perform well; however, for many, anxiety goes beyond standard high-stress periods. While occasional stress is nothing to worry about and can even be healthy, many people experience anxiety on an ongoing basis. People, especially teenagers, who suffer from anxiety disorders, find that their daily life can be interrupted by the intense, often long-lasting fear or worry.

Anxiety disorders are not fatal; however, they can severely interfere with an individual's ability to function normally on a daily basis. The intense feelings of fear and worry often lead to a lack of sleep as it makes it very difficult for people to fall asleep. Those with anxiety disorders also commonly suffer from physical manifestations of the anxiety. The anxiety can cause headaches, stomach aches, and even vomiting. In addition stress can cause individuals to lose their appetite or have trouble eating. One of the more difficult aspects for students to deal with is difficulty concentrating. When one is consumed with worry, his or her mind continuously considers the worrisome thoughts, making it considerably harder for teenagers to concentrate on school work and other mentally intensive tasks. These affects of anxiety can make it difficult for teenagers to simply get through the day, let alone enjoy life and relax.

While there seems to be no single cause of anxiety disorders, it is clear that they can run in a family. The fact that anxiety disorders can run in families indicates that there may be a genetic or hereditary connection. Because a family member may suffer from an anxiety disorder does not necessarily mean that you will. However, individuals who have family members with this disorder are far more likely to develop it.

Within the brain, neurotransmitters help to regulate mood, so an imbalance in the level of specific neurotransmitters can cause a change in mood. It is this imbalance in a neurotransmitter called serotonin that leads to anxiety. Interestingly, an imbalance of serotonin in the brain is directly related to depression. For this reason, SSRI medications, more commonly referred to as anti-depressants, are often used to help treat an anxiety disorder. Medication can provide significant relief for those suffering from anxiety disorders; however, it is often not the most efficient form of treatment.

In addition to medication, treatments for anxiety disorders include cognitive-behavioral therapy, other types of talk therapy, and relaxation and biofeedback to control muscle tension. Talk therapy can be the most effective treatment for teenagers, as they discuss their feelings and issues with a mental health professional. Many teens find it incredibly helpful to simply talk about the stress and anxiety that they feel. Additionally, in a specific kind of talk therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy teens actively "unlearn" some of their fear. This treatment teaches individuals a new way to approach fear and anxiety and how to deal with the feelings that they experience.

Many people attempt to medicate themselves when they suffer from stress or anxiety. While individuals find different ways to deal with the intense worry that they may experience, self medication can be very detrimental to their body. It is not uncommon for people who suffer from anxiety disorders to turn to alcohol or drugs to relieve the anxiety. While this may provide a temporary fix for the afflicted, in the long run it is harmful. By relying on these methods, individuals do not learn how to deal with the anxiety naturally. Reliance on other substances can also lead to alcohol or drug abuse, which can be an especially significant problem if it is developed during the teen years.

Statistics on teen anxiety show that anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental disorders among adolescents:

8-10 percent of adolescents suffer from an anxiety disorder
Symptoms of an anxiety disorder include: anger, depression, fatigue, extreme mood swings, substance abuse, secretive behavior, changes in sleeping and eating habits, bad hygiene or meticulous attention to, compulsive or obsessive behavior
One in eight adult Americans suffer from an anxiety disorder totaling 19 million people
Research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem among American women and are second only to alcohol and drug abuse among men
Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. $46.6 billion annually
Anxiety sufferers see an average of five doctors before being successfully diagnosed

Learn more about Teen Anxiety.

Sue Scheff - Teen Depression and Drugs

2008-07-03T13:52:00.001-07:00

Why do they start? What Should I Look For?

Sue Scheff; What is the Strengths Movement?

2008-06-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

By Jenifer Fox

At its core, the Strengths Movement is a social movement intended to change how we view ourselves, our children and our world. We have all been conditioned to see weaknesses and mine for deficits. This movement seeks to change that perspective and then apply the positive strengths perspective to our families and our schools.

There is no better place to begin this movement than in our families and the schools.

A vast collection of committed individuals does not constitute a movement. A movement must have followers and actions. Movements usually spring up in response to a threat.

What is the threat?

Our schools are failing to prepare children to thrive in the 21st century. There are many good ideas about how to change that. This movement seeks to unite all those ideas and wrap them in one force field: discovery, development and use of strengths. What is a strength? It is what energizes you, differentiates you, make you feel useful and whole. Strengths combined with direction create a chain of positive and right actions.

Who has a stake in this movement?

Businesses--whose productivity depends upon the talent of the next generation.

Parents and educators, preschool through university--who share responsibility for finding the strengths in the next generation.

Students-- who have the biggest stake. After all, they are their strengths and it is their future.

Teen Body Image

2008-06-25T04:31:00.000-07:00

By Sarah Maria - http://www.breakfreebeauty.com/

Teen Body Image

If you're in high school, most of your friends are probably on a diet. A recent study shows that 90% of junior and senior girls are on a diet regularly, even though only 10-15% are actually overweight.

The modeling industry also promotes the idea that you need to diet and exercise religiously. Fashion models are actually thinner than 98% of American women. An average woman stands 5'4" tall and weighs about 140 lbs, while the average fashion model is a towering 5'11" tall and weighs under 117 lbs.

In reality no amount of dieting, exercise and discipline can earn you a magazine cover-ready body because those photos have been Photo Shopped, doctored and airbrushed. Don't waste your time attempting to be what you are not, instead; focus on cultivating who you are!

Body Image Tips
As you progress through puberty and your high school years, your body changes as fast as your favorite ringtones. But learning to appreciate your body and have positive self image is a task that few adults have even mastered. Here are some tips to help you learn to love yourself:

Learn to Cook- It is never too early to learn to cook. In just a few years, you will be on your own and you will be expected to feed and take care of yourself. Get some practice at home by preparing some family meals or meals for just yourself. Try some new foods by looking through cookbooks and online. Impress your friends by having a dinner party. This also helps you understand how food functions within a regular diet. Learn how to cook healthily so you can eat healthily, but don't spend too much time worrying about food!

Don't Diet!- Dieting is a great way to ruin your eating habits and your relationship with food and your body. Instead, learn about healthy eating and exercise habits. The healthy habits you learn while you are young will serve you throughout your life!

People Watch- Go to the mall or a public space and people watch. How many are fat or thin? How tall are most women? Men? What do you like or dislike about people's styles, looks or body type? How much of their appearance is "style" and how much is their actual body types? Cultivate the ability to see style and beauty in everyone. As you learn to do this, you can be a trend-setter instead of a trend-follower.

Keep it Real- Remember, people only pick the best photos to be on their MySpace or Facebook page. Remind yourself that they all have bad hair days, the occasional zit or an unflattering outfit choice.

Stay Well Rounded- Sign up for activities that you have never tried. Join an intramural sport or speech meet. Build up your college resume by participating in extracurricular activities. It's a great way to broaden your social circle and prepares you for college or a job.

Be a Trend Setter- Don't just follow the crowd - create your own crowd by being a trend setter. Find your own style and look by experimenting with your hair, makeup and clothing. What is your look trying to say? Does it match what you want people to think about you? Someone has to set the trends. Why not you?

Learn to meditate- It is never too early to learn to meditate. You will find that this is a skill you can use all your life. By focusing inward, it is easier to distill the truth rather than listening to outside influences. It will also help you manage the stress of your busy life.

Parental Tips
If you are a parent of a teen, you know the challenges of living with an emotional, possibly aloof teenager who begs for guidance but disregards most of what you say. Their alternating moods and attitudes make approaching a touchy subject like body image feels dangerous. The following are some tips to help with a positive body image:

Have an Open Door Policy-You'd like your teen to approach you with any problem she is facing but often you aren't sure if she's coming to you, going to her friends or suffering alone. Encourage regular candid conversation by noticing what times and places your teen is most likely to talk. Is she a night owl? Does she talking on a long drive? Is she more comfortable emailing? Use the time and venue that is most comfortable for her and encourage open sharing.

Limit Harmful Media- Put your teen daughter on a media diet. Don't feel you need to restrict website, magazine or TV shows entirely. Just be cautious of what mediums she concentrates on. Be especially mindful of any one celebrity that she idolizes or photos that she tears out and stares at repeatedly. Discuss how all magazine photos are airbrushed and doctored.

Compliment Her and Her Friends- Make a point to compliment both your daughter and her friends on a well-put together outfit or a new hair style. Teens are trying on new looks and personalities as their bodies change. Let them know that they have hit on a good look when they experiment in the right direction.

Make sure to compliment them on things not related to their appearance as well. A good grade, a valiant sports effort or kind deed also deserve notice. Try to practice a 90/10% rule. Let 90% of your comments and insights be positive and only 10% should be carefully worded constructive criticism.

Resources:

Health AtoZ: Is it a Diet or an Eating Disorder?

Eating Disorder Statistics
http://www.freewebs.com/anadeath/statistics.htm

Sue Scheff: Feingold Program

2008-06-22T12:57:00.001-07:00

Many learning and behavior problems begin in your grocery cart!

Did you know that the brand of ice cream, cookie, and potato chip you select could have a direct effect on the behavior, health, and ability to learn for you or your children?

Numerous studies show that certain synthetic food additives can have serious learning, behavior, and/or health effects for sensitive people.

The Feingold Program (also known as the Feingold Diet) is a test to determine if certain foods or food additives are triggering particular symptoms. It is basically the way people used to eat before "hyperactivity" and "ADHD" became household words, and before asthma and chronic ear infections became so very common.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is the term currently used to describe a cluster of symptoms typical of the child (or adult) who has excessive activity or difficulty focusing. Some of the names that have been used in the past include: Minimal Brain Damage, Minimal Brain Dysfunction (MBD), Hyperkinesis, Learning Disability, H-LD (Hyperkinesis/Learning Disability), Hyperactivity, Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD With or Without Hyperactivity.

In addition to ADHD, many children and adults also exhibit one or more other problems which may include: OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), Bi-polar Disorder, Depression, Tourette Syndrome (TS), and Developmental Delays. These people often have food or environmental allergies. Many have a history of one or more of these physical problems: ear infections, asthma, sinus problems, bedwetting, bowel disorders, headaches/migraines, stomachaches, skin disorders, sensory deficits (extreme sensitivity to noise, lights, touch), vision deficits (the left and right eyes do not work well together, sometimes nystagmus).

While all the above symptoms might be helped by the Feingold Program, generally the characteristic that responds most readily is behavior. Although the symptoms differ from one person to another, the one characteristic that seems to apply to all chemically-sensitive people is that they get upset too easily. Whether the person is 3-years-old or 33, they have a short fuse.

Dr. Feingold began his work on linking diet with behavior back in the 1960's. He soon saw that the conventional wisdom about this condition was not accurate. At that time most doctors believed that children outgrew hyperactivity, that only one child in a family would be hyperactive, and that girls were seldom affected. Parents using the Feingold Diet also saw that these beliefs were not accurate. Years later, the medical community revised their beliefs, as well.

Another change in the medical community has been the increased use of medicine to address ADHD. In the 1960's and 1970's medicine was used with restraint, generally discontinued after a few years, and never prescribed to very young children. If there was a history of tics or other neurological disorders in a family member, a child would not be give stimulant drugs. The Feingold Association does not oppose the use of medicine, but believes that practitioners should first look for the cause(s) of the problems, rather than only address the symptoms. For example, ADHD can be the result of exposure to lead or other heavy metals; in such a case, the logical treatment would be to remove the lead, arsenic, etc.

The Feingold Association believes that patients have a right to be given complete, accurate information on all of the options available in the treatment of ADHD as well as other conditions. Sometimes, the best results come from a combination of treatments. This might include using the Feingold Diet plus allergy treatments, or plus nutritional supplements, or plus a gluten-free/casein-free diet, or even Feingold + ADHD medicine. We believe that it's useful to start with the Feingold Diet since it is fairly easy to use, not expensive, and because removing certain synthetic additives is a good idea for anyone.

Read entire article: http://www.feingold.org/pg-overview.html

Sue Scheff: Teens and Gateway Drugs

2008-06-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

A Parent's Guide to Gateway Drugs

A gateway drug is a drug that opens the metaphorical gateway to more potent, dangerous drugs. Substances like alcohol, cigarettes and marijuana are considered gateway drugs. While many parents are tempted to say "it's only beer" or "its just pot", the danger in gateway drugs is their ability to convince the user that they can handle larger quantities or in many cases, stronger, more potent substances.

Click here for more information.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Tough Talks with your Teen

2008-06-14T06:59:00.000-07:00

By Shoulder to Shoulder

It’s not easy talking about sex, drugs, gangs and violence with our teens. But it’s a “must do.” Here are a few pointers and tips for talking with teens about the very real issues they face.

Timing is Everything

Know that teens will catch us off guard when they decide to ask questions about sex or other “tough” topics. Resist the urge to flee. Try saying, “I’m glad you came to me with that question.” This gives us time to think of a response, and will let teens know they can come to parents for advice. It’s important to answer the question right away, rather than put off a teen by saying something like - “you’re too young to know that!” Chances are, the subject has already come up at school and they’re already getting “advice” from their friends. When teens ask questions, look at it as an opportunity to help them learn by sharing our thoughts.

Practice Makes Perfect

As parents, anticipation is our best friend. Anticipate what teens’ questions may be about sex, drugs or alcohol, then think about your responses ahead of time. What to say? It’s different for each family, but become familiar with typical questions and behaviors that occur during the teen years. Do a little digging around popular teen Web sites to find out what’s hot in a teen’s world.

Is It Hot In Here?

If you’re feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable about a question your teen asks, say so. Acknowledging your own discomfort allows your kids to acknowledge theirs - and may make everyone feel a little less awkward all around. It’s also okay for parents to set limits. For example, you do not have to give specific answers about your own teen behaviors.

Read entire article here: http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Tough_Talks_your/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Eating Disorders

2008-06-11T07:34:00.001-07:00

Recently I was contacted by a wonderful woman that has struggled with Bulimia since she was 14 years olds. Teen Eating Disorders are a very serious concern for many parents - and they need to be made aware of the warning signs as well as solutions.

Lori Hanson is the woman I am speaking of, she is an Author, Speaker and Life Balance Expert.
Her new book - “It Started with Pop-Tarts” at the age of 14 - and through her college years suffered and battled with Bulimia. She shares a journey that parents with teens that are at-risk with having an eating disorder should read.

Learn more about Lori at http://www.lori-hanson.com/ - she may be able to help you help your kids.

Sue Scheff: Parenting ADHD Children - Advice from Moms

2008-06-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

By ADDitude Magazine

Moms' advice for parenting ADHD children, creating an ADD-friendly household and smoothing out daily rough spots

It’s the stuff attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) days are made of: You’re trying to get your daughter to finish her homework, but she insists on doing cartwheels across the living room. Or you’ve already had two big dustups with your son — and it’s only 9 a.m.

Sound familiar? Parents of ADHD children have a lot on their plates. And while doctors, therapists, and ADD coaches can offer helpful guidance, much of the best, most practical advice on parenting ADD children comes from those who have been there, done that. In other words, from other ADHD parents.

For this article, ADDitude asked members of support groups across the country (both live and online) for their tried-and-true parenting skill tips for monitoring behavior problems, disciplining and smoothing out the daily rough spots. Here’s what they said.

The morning routine
In many families, the friction starts soon after the alarm clocks sound. It’s not easy to coax a spacey, unmotivated child out of bed and into his clothes; the strategizing required to get the entire family fed and out the door on time would test the mettle of General Patton.

Getting off to a slower start can make all the difference, say parents. “We wake our son up a half-hour early,” says Toya J., of Brooklyn, New York, mother of eight-year-old Jamal. “We give him his medication, and then let him lie in our bed for a while. If we rush him, he gets overwhelmed — and so do we. Once the meds kick in, it’s much easier to get him going.”

Some parents aren’t above a little bribery. “In our house, it’s all about rewards,” says Jenny S., of New York City, mother of Jeremy, age seven. “Every time we have a good morning, I put a marble in the jar. For every five marbles, he wins a small reward.”

Amy B., of Los Angeles, mother of Jared, age seven, is another believer in reward systems. “If the TV is on, it’s impossible to get him moving. Now the TV stays off until absolutely everything is done and he’s ready to go. He moves quickly because he wants to watch that television.”

Another way to keep your morning structured and problem-free is to divide it into a series of simple, one-step tasks. “I’m the list queen,” says Debbie G., of Phoenix, mother of Zach, 10. “I put a list on his bedroom door that tells him step-by-step what he needs to do. I break his morning routine down into simple steps, like ‘BRUSH TEETH,’ ‘MAKE BED,’ ‘GET DRESSED,’ and ‘COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST.’ The key is to make it easy to follow.”

What about kids who simply cannot, or will not, do what’s asked of them? When 10-year-old Liam refuses to comply, his mom, Dina A., of New York City, shifts into “if-you-can’t-beat-’em,-join-’em” mode. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this,” she says, “but I wake him up and bring him cereal in bed. Once he’s gotten something to eat, he’s not as crabby.”

Behavior patterns
At first glance, a child’s misadventures may seem random. But spend a week or two playing detective, and you may see a pattern. Pay attention to the specific situations that lead to trouble and — even more important — to the times of day when trouble usually occurs.

“You may find that tantrums come at certain times of the day,” says Laura K., of San Francisco, mother of Jack, eight. “With my son, we found that it was right after the medication wore off. So we asked the doctor for a small booster dose to get us through. It’s worked wonders for cutting down on the bad behavior.”

Sometimes children simply fail to see the connection between how they behave and how they’re treated. In such cases, behavior charts are a godsend. The idea is to post a chart, specifying the behaviors you expect and the rewards the child will earn for toeing the line.

Renee L., of Northbrook, Illinois, mother of Justin, nine, explains: “Once children see that good behavior gets them privileges and bad behavior gets them nothing, they’re more likely to comply.” It helps to focus on only a few behaviors at a time.

Sue Scheff: Parent Power by Dr. Paul Jenkins

2008-06-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

In this 2 CD set, Dr. Jenkins teaches what every parent should know about maturity and control. Parents will also learn three rules for a happy home, four rules just for parents, and four steps for teaching children responsibility. This is the second edition of this popular seminar, with the same powerful content in a studio quality recording.

Visit http://www.drpaul.org/products.html for more information

Sue Scheff: ADHD Teens - Room to Bloom

2008-06-01T07:29:00.001-07:00

By ADDitude Magazine

10 ways for protective parents to step back and allow their ADHD Teens to Grow..

I saw Donny for an evaluation shortly after his eleventh birthday. Like many parents, his mother, Christine, reacted to his diagnosis with mixed feelings: sadness that her son was not "perfect" and that the attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) wouldn't go away - and concern about the implications for his future. She hoped that the treatment plan we devised - a combination of academic accommodations, therapy, and medication - would improve their day-to-day lives. Mostly, she was determined to do whatever was necessary to help her son.

Christine became the boy's champion, protector, and advocate. She coordinated with Donny's teachers, school counselors, soccer coaches, piano teachers, and the parents of his friends to make sure that they understood his needs and treated him fairly. She attended IEP meetings and helped shape his academic plan. Morning, homework, and bedtime routines were established to structure life at home. The bottom line? Donny thrived.

Read entire article here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/720.html

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Behavior Therapy for Children with ADHD

2008-05-29T11:37:00.001-07:00

By ADDitude Magazine

Seven parenting strategies guaranteed to improve the behavior of your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).

The fundamentals of behavior therapy are easy to understand and implement, even without the help of a therapist. Have you ever given your child a time-out for talking back — or a “heads-up” before taking him someplace that is likely to challenge his self-control? Then you already have a sense of how behavior therapy works.

“A lot of behavior modification is just common-sense parenting,” says William Pelham, Jr., Ph.D., director of the Center for Children and Families at the State University of New York at Buffalo. “The problem is that none of us were trained how to be good parents, and none of us expected to have children who needed parents with great parenting skills and patience.”

The basic idea is to set specific rules governing your child’s behavior (nothing vague or too broad), and to enforce your rules consistently, with positive consequences for following them and negative consequences for infractions. Dr. Pelham suggests these seven strategies:1. Make sure your child understands the rules.

Telling a child to “do this” or to “avoid doing that” is not enough. To ensure that your child knows the rules cold, create lists and post them around the house. For example, you might draw up a list detailing the specific things your child must do to get ready for school.Make sure the rules are worded clearly. Go over the rules to make sure he understands, and review them as necessary. Stick with the routines until your child has them down.

Click here for more: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1563.html

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Inhalant Abuse - Warning Signs

2008-05-25T06:56:00.001-07:00

Inhalant Abuse is a lesser-known form of substance abuse, but is no less dangerous than other forms.The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service has reported that more than 2.1 million children in America experiment with some form of an inhalant each year and the Centers for Disease Control lists inhalants as second only to marijuana for illicit drug use among youth.

However, parents aren't talking to their children about this deadly issue. According to the Alliance for Consumer Education's research study, Inhalant Abuse falls behind alcohol, tobacco and marijuana use by nearly 50% in terms of parental knowledge and concern. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America reports that 18 percent of all eighth graders have used inhalants, but nine out of 10 parents are unaware or deny that their children have abused inhalants. Many parents are not aware that inhalant users can die the first time they try Inhalants.

Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is caused in one of two ways. First, Inhalants force the heart to beat rapidly and erratically until the user goes into cardiac arrest. Second, the fumes from an Inhalant enter a user's lungs and central nervous system. By lowering oxygen levels enough, the user is unable to breathe and suffocates. Regular abuse of these substances can result in serious harm to vital organs including the brain, heart, kidneys and liver.

Even if the user doesn't die, Inhalants can still affect the body. Most Inhalants produce a rapid high that resembles alcohol intoxication with initial excitement, then drowsiness, disinhibition, lightheadedness and agitation. Short-term effects include headache, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe mood swings and violent behavior, slurred speech, numbness and tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, limb spasms, fatigue, and lack of coordination. Long- term effects include central nervous system or brain damage. Serious effects include damage to the liver, heart, kidneys, blood oxygen level depletion, unconsciousness and death.

Studies show that strong parental involvement in a child's life makes the child less likely to use Inhalants. Know the warning signs or behavior patterns to watch for and take the time to educate yourself about the issue so that you can talk to your children about inhalants.

Click here for entire article and warning signs http://www.inhalant.org/inhalant/warnings.php

www.inhalant.org
www.helpyourteens.com

Sue Scheff: A Relentless Hope, Surviving Teen Depression

2008-05-23T06:41:00.001-07:00

A Relentless Hope: Surviving The Storm of Teen Depression
By Gary E. Nelson

(Published by Cascade Books, an imprint of Wipf & Stock, a traditional publisher)

Depression and related illnesses threaten to wreck the lives of many teens and their families. Suicide driven by these illnesses is one of the top killers of young people. How do teens become depressed? What does depression feel like? How can we identify it? What helps depressed teens? What hurts them? How do families cope with teen depression?

In, A Relentless Hope, Dr. Nelson uses his experience as a pastor and pastoral counselor to guide the reader through an exploration of these and many other questions about depression in teens. He's worked with many teens over the years offering help to those confronted by this potentially devastating illness. The author also uses the story of his own son's journey through depression to weave together insights into the spiritual, emotional, cognitive, biological, and relational dimensions of teen depression. The book is written for those without formal clinical training, so it appeals to teens, parents, teachers, pastors, and any who walk with the afflicted through this valley of the shadow of death. Through careful analysis, candid self-revelation, practical advice, and even humor, this pastor, counselor, and father, reminds us God's light of healing can shine through the darkness of depression and offer hope for struggling teens and their families.

Dr. Nelson is available for speaking engagements, workshops, and interviews. See the contact page for information about reaching him. http://survivingteendepression.com/index.html

Sue Scheff - Troubled Teens

2008-05-19T14:31:00.001-07:00

Are you struggling with your teen?

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/ P.U.R.E. - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Parents helping parents.

P.U.R.E. is based on reality - especially with today's teen society of technology including MySpace and other Internet concerns for children. Today we are educating children at much younger ages about substance abuse, sex, and more.

The latest wave of music and lyrics, television, and movies help to contribute to generate a new spin on this age group.

This leads to new areas of concern for parents. We recognize that each family is different with a variety of needs. P.U.R.E. believes in creating Parent Awareness to help you become an educated parent in the teen help industry.

We will give you a feeling of comfort in a situation that can be confusing, stressful, frustrating, and sometimes desperate.Desperate? Confused? Stressed? Anxious? Helplessness? Frustrated? Scared? Exhausted? Fearful? Alone? Drained? Hopelessness? Out of Control? At Wit's End?...

http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/
http://www.suescheff.com/

Sue Scheff: Your Kids Can Be A Challenge

2008-05-16T11:47:00.001-07:00

Connect with Kids is a comprehensive website that offers parenting articles, helpful tips for parents, parent forums and more. They also offer Parenting DVD's on a variety of subjects that affect our kids today. Whether it is Troubled Teens or how to raise successful kids - there is probably a DVD that can help you better understand the issues surrounding our kids today.

Click here for more information and a variety of Parenting DVD's.

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Learn More about Teen Depression

2008-05-14T10:37:00.001-07:00

Click here for more information on teen depression.

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Alliance for Consumer Education - Inhalant Abuse Prevention

2008-05-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Alliance for Consumer Education's (ACE) inhalant abuse prevention site! ACE is a foundation dedicated to advancing community health and well-being.

Did you know 1 in 5 children will abuse inhalants by the 8th grade? Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of fumes, vapors or gases from common household products for the purpose of "getting high".

This site is designed to assist you in learning more about inhalant abuse prevention and giving you tools to help raise the awareness of others. While here be sure to check out our free printable resources, post any comments or questions on ACE’s community message board, and visit our new blog by visiting http://www.inhalant.org/.

http://www.helpyourteens.com/

http://www.witsendbook.com/

http://www.suescheff.com/

Sue Scheff: Is Your Teen Suffering with Depression?

2008-05-05T09:13:00.001-07:00

Do you suspect your teen is suffering with depression?

Find out more - click here.

www.helpyourteens.com

www.witsendbook.com

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Teenage Brain

2008-05-04T13:46:00.001-07:00

By Connect with Kids www.connectwithkids.com

The Teenage Brain

Are you dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of raising a teenager? Teens are impulsive, stubborn and moody. A troubled teenager will yell at you one minute and hug you the next. What’s a parent to do? Get The Teenage Brain and see the latest research to help you understand defiant teenagers and how their mind actually works. You’ll improve your parenting skills and learn how to influence troubled teenagers and how to better communicate with them.

Find out what makes defiant teenagers tick.

New research shows that there are clear-cut, physical differences between an adult’s brain and a teenager’s brain – differences that explain typical “teen behavior.” The Teenage Brain is a compelling video program that gives families with troubled teenagers hope while providing the latest facts, tips from experts, advice from health practitioners, stories from teens themselves and much more.

When it comes to teenagers, you can never have enough parenting skills.

If you have teens, part of your job is to develop their mind. New research shows that you can actually shape the structure of your child’s brain – so shouldn’t you understand how troubled teenagers' or defiant teenagers' brains work? Now you can.

Sue Scheff: Helping Prevent Teen Drug Use

2008-05-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

Why do they start? What Should I Look For?

http://www.helpyourteens.com/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Suicide Information

2008-05-02T03:55:00.000-07:00

Teen Suicide

Suicide is the third most common cause of death amongst adolescents between 15-24 years of age, and the sixth most common cause of death amongst 5-14 year olds. It is estimated that over half of all teens suffering from depression will attempt suicide at least once, and of those teens, roughly seven percent will succeed on the first try. Teenagers are especially vulnerable to the threat of suicide, because in addition to increased stress from school, work and peers, teens are also dealing with hormonal fluctuations that can complicate even the most normal situations.

Because of these social and personal changes, teens are also at higher risk for depression, which can also increase feelings of despair and the desire to commit suicide. In fact, according to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) almost all people who commit suicide suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or substance abuse disorder. Often, teens feel as though they have no other way out of their problems, and may not realize that suicidal thoughts and feelings can be treated. Unfortunately, due to the often volatile relationship between teens and their parents, teens may not be as forthcoming about suicidal feelings as parents would hope. The good news is there are many signs parents can watch for in their teen without necessarily needing their teen to open up to them.

At some point in most teens’ lives, they will experience periods of sadness, worry and/or despair. While it is completely normal for a healthy person to have these types of responses to pain resulting from loss, dismissal, or disillusionment, those with serious (often undiagnosed) mental illnesses often experience much more drastic reactions. Many times these severe reactions will leave the teen in despair, and they may feel that there is no end in sight to their suffering. It is at this point that the teen may lose hope, and with the absence of hope comes more depression and the feeling that suicide is the only solution. It isn’t.

Teen girls are statistically twice as likely as their male counterparts to attempt suicide. They tend to turn to drugs (overdosing) or to cut themselves, while boys are traditionally more successful in their suicide attempts because they utilize more lethal methods such as guns and hanging. This method preference makes boys almost four times more successful in committing suicide.

Studies have borne out that suicide rates rise considerably when teens can access firearms in their home. In fact, nearly 60% of suicides committed in the United States that result in immediate death are accomplished with a gun. This is one crucial reason that any gun kept in a home with teens, even if that teen does not display any outward signs of depression, be stored in a locked compartment away from any ammunition. In fact, the ammunition should be stored in a locked compartment as well, and the keys to both the gun and ammunition compartments should be kept in a different area from where normal, everyday keys are kept. Remember to always keep firearms, ammunition, and the keys to the locks containing them, away from kids.

Unfortunately, teen suicide is not a rare event. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 24. This disturbing trend is affecting younger children as well, with suicide rates experiencing dramatic increases in the under-15 age group from 1980 to 1996. Suicide attempts are even more prevalent, though it is difficult to track the exact rates.

www.helpyourteens.com

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) LOVE OUR CHILDREN CHILDREN USA

2008-05-01T15:27:00.001-07:00

Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators.

Visit LOVE OUR CHILDREN USA

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Cults

2008-04-30T04:07:00.000-07:00

Teen cults claim many victims each year

Every year thousands of teens across the country become ensnared in the dangerous and misunderstood world of cults. These hazardous entities prey on the uncertainty and alienation that many teens feel and use those feelings to attract unsuspecting teens into their cult traps. As a figurehead in the world of parent teen relations, Sue Scheff™ knows the danger of cults and teenagers’ susceptibility to their temptations. Sue Scheff™ believes that like many other teen\ ailments, the best defense against the world of cults is through education.

No teen actually joins a cult, they join a religious movement or a political organization that reaches out to the feelings of angst or isolation that many troubled teen’s experience. Over time, this group gradually reveals its true cultish nature, and before teens know it, they are trapped in a web they can’t untangle.

With the strong rise in teen internet usage, cults have many ways to contact children and brainwash them. Sue Scheff™ knows the dark side of the internet from her experience with teenage internet addiction, and she understands it is also an avenue for cults to infiltrate teenage brains.

Cults have long been represented in the mass media. The supporters of Reverend Jim Jones People’s Temple may be some of the most famous cult members, making global headlines when they died in the hundreds after drinking Kool-Aid laced with cyanide. Almost 300 of the dead Jones supporters were teens and young children. Heavens Gate is another well known cult, which believed ritual suicide would ensure their journey behind the Hale-Bopp comet with Jesus. Heavens Gate lived in a strict communal environment, funding their cult endeavors through web site development. Some male members of the cult even castrated themselves before all 36 committed suicide, wearing matching sweat suits and Nike tennis shoes.

It is clear that despite the ridiculous and bizarre nature of many cults, parents can’t ignore the power and resourcefulness of these groups. Cult ideas may seem to loony to take seriously, but they can have real power when used against troubled teenagers, the exact type of teens that Sue Scheff™ and other parent advocates have been working to keep safe.

Cult influence should not be taken lightly, especially when living with a troubled teen. Parents may not think of cults as a problem because they don’t hear about them a lot, but that’s the key to cult success. The livelihood of teen cults relies on staying out of the public eye and in the shadows. The Heaven’s Gate and People’s Temple cults didn’t truly gain public notice until after their suicides, and by then it was too late to save their followers.

The danger of teen cults is real, but parents can help ensure their teenagers’ safety by staying informed and communicating with their children. Sue Scheff™ presents a site with important information about different types of cults that target teens, warning signs of cult attendance, and ways to help prevent your teen from becoming involved in a cult. Knowledge and communication is always the first line of defense when helping a troubled teen.

www.helpyourteens.com

Parents Universal Resource Experts Sue Scheff - Teen Depression

2008-04-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

Teenage depression is more than just bad moods or broken hearts; it is a very serious clinical illness that will affect approximately 20% of teens before they reach adulthood. Left untreated, depression can lead to difficult home situations, problems at school, drug abuse, and worse, violence toward themselves and others.

Certain young teens suffer from depression as result of situations surrounding their social or family life, but many are succeptable to the disease regardless of race, gender, income level or education. It is very important for parents to keep a watch on their teens - and to maintain a strong level of communication. Understanding the causes and warning signs of the illness can help parents prevent their teens from falling in to depression.

My name is Sue Scheff™ and I understand how difficult it can be dealing with a troubled teenager because I have been there! My experiences lead to the founding Parents Universal Resource Experts, an organization dedicated to parental support, education and resources. I work with parents like you every day, looking for help and answers in desperation. You are not alone!
This website is dedicated to the bringing parents the best information about teenage depression; causes, symptoms, statistics and preventative measures.

Please visit our newly added informative section on teenage anxiety, the lesser known, but equally serious, relative of depression.

Find out more about Teen Depression.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Making Peace with Your Defiant Child: Discipline & ODD

2008-04-27T08:51:00.001-07:00

Discipline strategies for parents of children with oppositional defiant disorder - a common partner to ADHD.

Click here for the entire article.

ADDitude Magazine has comprehensive articles on ADD/ADHD in regards to both children and adults.

As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) my organization - Parents' Universal Resource Experts - is about parents helping parents and bringing you valuable stories, articles and more to help you with today's kids.

Sue Scheff - Parents Need to Learn More About Inhalant Abuse

2008-04-25T04:09:00.001-07:00

Monitoring your child will make your child much less likely to use Inhalants or other drugs.

· Know where your child is at all times, especially after school
· Know your child's friends
· If you find your child unconscious, or you suspect your child is under the influence of an Inhalant, call 911 immediately.

If you suspect your child might be abusing Inhalants, call the Poison Control Center at 1-800-222-1222; or call the '1-800' number on the label of the product.

According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, "if you talk to your kids about the risks of drugs, they are 36% less likely to abuse an Inhalant." Parents can make a tremendous impact on their kids' choices by talking to them.

Visit http://www.inhalant.org/

Sue Scheff - Inhalant Abuse - Teen Depression

2008-04-22T04:45:00.001-07:00

Inhalant Abuse is an issue many parents are not aware of, they are very in tune to substance abuse regarding drugs and alcohol, however huffing seems to be a subject that is not discussed enough.

Read about a Community Warning About Inhalant Abuse

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) ADDitude Magazine and Website

2008-04-18T14:39:00.001-07:00

LIVING WELL WITH ADD AND LEARNING DIFFERENCES

Wow - what a great informational website and magazine. ADD/ADHD is widely diagnosed among many children. Learn more about ADD/ADHD and other learning differences - click here.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Depression

2008-04-16T10:23:00.001-07:00

Teen Depression Risk Factors by DepressionReport.info

There are a number of factors that put a teen at a higher risk for developing depression. Many of these risk factor are red flags for parents, friends, and loved ones to watch out for in a teenager. These factors include:

Experiencing problems or difficulty at school.

Going through a traumatic event. Examples include parents who get divorced, abusive parents, the death of a loved one, or a break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Weight loss or weight gain.

Difficulty dealing with anger.

Developing an interest in violence or a becoming increasingly fearful of violence.

Difficulty sleeping.

Developing an interest in drugs or alcohol.

Teenage depression is the leading cause of teenage suicide. Yet, approximately 80% of teenagers thinking of suicide leave clues. Through careful observation and an understanding of the risk factors of teenage depression, many of these suicides can be prevented.

Causes of Teenage Depression

Teenage depression is largely caused by stress. During the adolescent years, a person undergoes a number of emotional, physical, and mental changes. First of all, hormones start raging and bring with them a plethora of confusing emotions. In addition, teenagers often feel a great deal of pressure from their parents and from teachers to do well in school and to participate in athletics. Furthermore, peer pressure and an overwhelming desire to do whatever it takes to fit in with their peers causes teenagers a great deal of stress.

The stress teenagers feel can result in anger, nervousness, and an inability to concentrate. It can also lead to physical symptoms such as nausea and headaches. Ultimately, the stress can cause social withdraw and depression.

Preventing Teenage Depression

Thankfully, there are several steps a parent can take to prevent teenage depression from setting in on their child.

The first is to always utilize positive disciplinary techniques. Desirable behaviors should be reinforced through praise and recognition rather than utilizing punishment and shame techniques. Punishment and shaming only serves to leave the teenager feeling worthless and inadequate.

At the same time, parents must be careful not to overprotect or to overdirect their teenagers. Children and young adults need to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.

Protecting your teen from experiencing mistakes, or continually telling your child what to do rather than letting him or her make independent decisions, will ultimately make them feel as if you have know faith in his or her ability to make decisions.

It is also important to never push your teen to participate in certain activities because you want him or her to reach your unachieved goals. Your child needs to find his or her own sense of identity and worth.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Love Our Children USA

2008-04-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

What a great website to help parents learn to protect their children today.

Visit http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/index.php

Love Our Children USA™ is the national nonprofit leader in breaking the cycle of violence against children. The organization has become 'the Go-To' prevention organization for all forms of violence and neglect against children in the U.S.

Sue Scheff: Helping Teens Avoid Bad Decisions and Risky Behavior

2008-04-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

by Connect with Kids

Good Kids, Bad Choices

All kids make mistakes … but some bad choices can lead to terrible outcomes. As parents, we need to do everything in our power to help our children learn to make smart decisions. How do you help your kids learn about the consequences of a split-second decision? How do you help them avoid dangerous and risky situations?

Learn what leads kids to make bad decisions… and how parents can help with Good Kids, Bad Choices.

What is your greatest fear for your child? Car accident? Drug or alcohol addiction? Sexually transmitted disease? Unplanned pregnancy? Physical disability? Death? When it comes to learning how to avoid bad decisions, children need the guidance and insights that only parents can provide.

So how do parents learn what situations kids get themselves into? Why they make bad choices?
Order Good Kids, Bad Choices and find out.

You'll see real teenagers talk about the split-second decisions they made … the terrible outcomes … and what they wish they had done instead. You'll learn tips from experts and parenting advice about the steps you can take to help your child learn to make better decisions. And you'll hear the inspiration from families who can help your family – before it's too late.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Depression, Anxious Teens, At Risk Teens

2008-03-25T08:13:00.001-07:00

By Connect with Kids
Leave Me Alone!

We all know teenagers can be moody, impulsive and irritable – but how can parents tell if the tears will go away or if they're a sign of something more? When your teen slams the door and shouts "Leave me alone!" – should you? Will your child be safe? Or are there signs of depression, anxiety, even suicidal thoughts?

Every parent needs to know the warning signs – when life feels too heavy or too scary for your son or daughter to handle alone. Every parent needs to know what treatments are available and what works with kids. Every parent needs to watch Leave Me Alone!

You'll hear actual teenagers talk about their struggles, giving you insight into what your own child may be feeling. You'll learn practical parenting advice from child experts about what you can do to help your teen face the fears and alleviate the pain. And you'll hear the inspiration and hope of families whose children are living happier, healthier lives.

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Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Depression

2008-03-21T15:09:00.000-07:00

By Connect with Kids

Depression

The face of depression is getting younger. In a recent survey, 23% of young adults reported symptoms of serious depression before the age of 20—up from just 2% a generation ago. The reasons range from increased pressure in school to rising divorce rates among parents, experts say.

“My parents went through an awful divorce my ninth-grade year, and I was devastated,” says 18 year-old Brittany.

Parents often mis-interpret the signs of depression. Some kids may become lethargic and withdrawn, as expected, while others may show agitation, frustration and aggression. For school-aged children a drop in grades could also be an indicator. Unfortunately, it often provokes punishment rather than sympathy.

Psychologist Sunaina Jain says, “Rather than thinking of children’s misbehaviors as discipline problems or misbehaviors as deliberate, it’s important to see them as communication from the child. This is the child’s way of telling you how he or she is feeling”

Experts say that, given the new reality, a quarter of all kids will experience depression. Parents need to make sure they take a constant measure of their child’s emotional pulse.

What Parents Should Know

Emotional anchors are fewer and further between for many kids. In years past kids spent more time with parents, grandparents and neighbors than they do now, says USA Today.

Kids look to parents for emotional support and reassurance. With the amount of time parents and children spending together on a downward trend, many children are feeling alone—isolated.

In the past, when Mom and Dad weren’t around, grandparent or neighbors were likely to be at arms reach, but not anymore, studies say. Grandparents aren’t as accessible and families now move an average of every seven years, compared to every 21 years three decades ago. Adjusting to a new neighborhood every few years makes it more difficult to develop strong and lasting neighborly relations.

With the odds of smooth sailing being less and less for children, parents should be extra cautious of children’s emotional status. They need support. They need reassurance. They need an emotional anchor.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) - Teen Anxiety

2008-03-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

Teen Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are not fatal; however, they can severely interfere with an individual's ability to function normally on a daily basis. The intense feelings of fear and worry often lead to a lack of sleep as it makes it very difficult for people to fall asleep. Those with anxiety disorders also commonly suffer from physical manifestations of the anxiety. The anxiety can cause headaches, stomach aches, and even vomiting. In addition stress can cause individuals to lose their appetite or have trouble eating. One of the more difficult aspects for students to deal with is difficulty concentrating. When one is consumed with worry, his or her mind continuously considers the worrisome thoughts, making it considerably harder for teenagers to concentrate on school work and other mentally intensive tasks. These affects of anxiety can make it difficult for teenagers to simply get through the day, let alone enjoy life and relax.

While there seems to be no single cause of anxiety disorders, it is clear that they can run in a family. The fact that anxiety disorders can run in families indicates that there may be a genetic or hereditary connection. Because a family member may suffer from an anxiety disorder does not necessarily mean that you will. However, individuals who have family members with this disorder are far more likely to develop it.

Within the brain, neurotransmitters help to regulate mood, so an imbalance in the level of specific neurotransmitters can cause a change in mood. It is this imbalance in a neurotransmitter called serotonin that leads to anxiety. Interestingly, an imbalance of serotonin in the brain is directly related to depression. For this reason, SSRI medications, more commonly referred to as anti-depressants, are often used to help treat an anxiety disorder. Medication can provide significant relief for those suffering from anxiety disorders; however, it is often not the most efficient form of treatment.

In addition to medication, treatments for anxiety disorders include cognitive-behavioral therapy, other types of talk therapy, and relaxation and biofeedback to control muscle tension. Talk therapy can be the most effective treatment for teenagers, as they discuss their feelings and issues with a mental health professional. Many teens find it incredibly helpful to simply talk about the stress and anxiety that they feel. Additionally, in a specific kind of talk therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy teens actively "unlearn" some of their fear. This treatment teaches individuals a new way to approach fear and anxiety and how to deal with the feelings that they experience.

Many people attempt to medicate themselves when they suffer from stress or anxiety. While individuals find different ways to deal with the intense worry that they may experience, self medication can be very detrimental to their body. It is not uncommon for people who suffer from anxiety disorders to turn to alcohol or drugs to relieve the anxiety. While this may provide a temporary fix for the afflicted, in the long run it is harmful. By relying on these methods, individuals do not learn how to deal with the anxiety naturally. Reliance on other substances can also lead to alcohol or drug abuse, which can be an especially significant problem if it is developed during the teen years.

Statistics on teen anxiety show that anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental disorders among adolescents:

8-10 percent of adolescents suffer from an anxiety disorder
Symptoms of an anxiety disorder include: anger, depression, fatigue, extreme mood swings, substance abuse, secretive behavior, changes in sleeping and eating habits, bad hygiene or meticulous attention to, compulsive or obsessive behavior
One in eight adult Americans suffer from an anxiety disorder totaling 19 million people
Research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem among American women and are second only to alcohol and drug abuse among men
Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. $46.6 billion annually
Anxiety sufferers see an average of five doctors before being successfully diagnosed

For more information on Teen Depression.

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Sue Scheff: Surviving Teen Depression - A Relentless Hope by Dr. Gary Nelson

2008-03-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Watch this segment on "Surviving Teen Depression" with Dr. Gary Nelson. It can offer you hope and inspiration if you are struggling with your teen and depression.

Sue Scheff: Smoking Pot and Lung Damage

2008-03-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

by Connect with Kids

“This latest study shows that you have destruction of lung tissue, reduction of lung vital capacity and a decreased ability to exhale if you smoke marijuana. What’s probably the most disturbing part of this latest article is that it shows that a cigarette is really much less potent than a joint of marijuana.”

– Fadlo Khuri, M.D., oncologist

According to the latest Monitoring the Future report, more than 40 percent of 12-graders have experimented with marijuana. In fact, it is the most commonly-abused illegal drug. While parents, teachers and physicians have been warning kids about pot for years, new information shows it’s even more dangerous than we thought.

Andrew was 14 years old when he first tried pot.

“I didn’t even inhale it all the way, I just took it into my mouth, but I loved the taste. I knew that I liked it,” says Andrew Wolpa, 18.

From there he experimented with alcohol, painkillers, mushrooms and almost every drug -- except one.

“I never smoked cigarettes because those things will kill ya, you know,” says Wolpa.

But according to a study by the Medical Research Institute of New Zealand, smoking one marijuana joint is equal to smoking five cigarettes at the same time.

“This latest study shows that you have destruction of lung tissue, reduction of lung vital capacity and a decreased ability to exhale if you smoke marijuana. What’s probably the most disturbing part of this latest article is that it shows that a cigarette is really much less potent than a joint of marijuana,” says Fadlo Khuri, M.D., oncologist.

And he says smoking pot can lead to emphysema and lung cancer.

“That’s a real problem because we only cure about 15 to 17 percent of all the people who present with lung cancer nowadays. So this is a disease in which you have a 1-in-6 chance of surviving it for five years or longer,” says Khuri.

Khuri says that talking about painful and serious diseases is one way to persuade kids not to use marijuana.

“Confronting them with the data, showing them what the outcomes are with lung cancer and emphysema, with what some individuals would consider even moderate marijuana or cigarette use,” says Khuri.

Andrew says even though he’s in rehab, he’s not ready to quit.

“I don’t want to be clean yet. I’m not there,” says Wolpa.

Tips for Parents

From the Nemours Foundation:

Marijuana is the most widely used illegal drug in the United States. It is a dry, shredded green/brown mix of flowers, stems, seeds, and leaves of the plant Cannabis Sativa. A stronger form of marijuana called hashish (hash) looks like brown or black cakes or balls. Street names for marijuana include pot, herb, weed, grass, Jane, reefer, dope, and ganja.

Marijuana is typically smoked in cigarettes (joints or spliffs), hollowed-out cigars (blunts), pipes (bowls), or water pipes (bongs). Some people mix it into food or brew it as a tea.

Marijuana is just as damaging to your lungs as cigarettes – and some reports show that it is even worse. Steady users suffer coughs, wheezing, frequent colds, and respiratory infections, such as bronchitis.

There are more than 400 known chemicals in marijuana. A single joint contains four times as much cancer-causing tar as a filtered cigarette. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

References

Nemours Foundation
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

(Sue Scheff) Preventing Teen Drug and Alcohol Addiction by Dr. John C. Fleming

2008-03-07T07:55:00.000-08:00

A generation ago, with the idea to prevent drug addition for future generations, former first lady Nancy Reagan launched her famous anti-drug campaign with the slogan, “just say no to drugs.” Sadly, addiction and drugs still plague our children despite the best efforts of educators and parents. The benefits of drug prevention are real but our approach to prevention has not been successful.

Now, drug and alcohol prevention research is available from Dr. John Fleming in the book Preventing Addiction. In this first-of-its-kind book, Dr. Fleming introduces real ideas to prevent drug use and alcohol consumption in our children based on medical science and on Dr. Fleming’s personal experience as a parent of four grown children. He helps to fully explain the phenomenon of addiction and shows parents the best new ways to raise and train children to avoid drug and alcohol addiction.

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Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Early Dating/Early Sexual Activity (Can this add to Teen Depression?)

2008-03-02T07:38:00.001-08:00

First Comes Love

Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?

These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together... First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning. The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”

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Connect with Kids is a wealth of information for parents. I refer parents to them daily and I am always impressed with their valuable new weekly parenting articles and DVD’s. In today’s world of teenagers - parents need to be a step ahead!

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teaching Empathy in Schools by Connect with Kids

2008-02-27T15:37:00.000-08:00

“Students come out the other side not only with a better education in the subject areas, but they are better citizens.”

– Paul Weimer, director, Character Education Partnership

The No Child Left Behind federal act has many students spending the majority of their day reading, writing and practicing math. However, a new study finds that character education, anti-bullying efforts and lessons in respecting and empathizing with others can actually raise children’s test scores.

“Most of my lessons of character and respect … I learned at home from my mom and my dad,” says Maceo, 13.

But now some schools are teaching lessons about empathy, cooperation and caring about others.

“Okay, what is kindness?” asks a teacher to her student.

Researchers at the University of Illinois analyzed the findings of more than 200 studies. They found that when schools help kids learn to manage their emotions and practice empathy and caring, both their behavior and their grades improve.

“Students come out the other side not only with a better education in the subject areas, but they are better citizens,” says Paul Weimer, director, Character Education Partnership.

But some students say you don’t learn emotional skills with a lecture.

“If they just force us to sit here and understand, it’s going to be sort of hard,” says Susan, 13.

Instead, experts say character skills and emotional growth come with practice.

In one outreach program, high school students spend time with younger kids who need a little help.

“It’s a chance for kids to show that there is character there, ” says Mik, 17.

“What we’re hoping is by making this prevalent in our curriculum, by infusing it into the curriculum and mentioning these words again and again, that our students will hear this, internalize it and they will in turn do these things automatically,” says Nancy Zarovsky, teacher.

Experts say that while character education at school is always helpful, it is considerably less effective if the child’s family and community don’t teach or support those same values.

Tips for Parents

To teach these lessons, we must make the issues of care, connection and civic action part of the core curriculum and school culture. We must look thoughtfully at the ways young people see society operating and help them develop a larger sense of meaning for their lives. (AASA)

Whether we’re feeling empathy when a loved one endures pain, or feeling relief from pain due to a placebo, pain-sensitive regions of our brains are at work — either creating or diminishing the experience of human pain. (MSNBC)

“The ability to “tune in” and empathize with others is a prerequisite for understanding, attachment, bonding and love — all of which are important for our survival,” says Tania Singer, Department of Imaging Neuroscience at University College, London.

Social understanding and social responsibility build on children's desire to understand and feel effective in the social world, to maintain connection with others and to reach out to those in distress. (American Association of School Administrators, AASA)

References

MSNBC
Tania Singer, Department of Imaging Neuroscience at University College, London
American Association of School Administrators (AASA)

Sue Scheff: Helping Teens Avoid Bad Decisions and Risky Situations

2008-02-23T08:01:00.001-08:00

Good Kids, Bad Choices

All kids make mistakes … but some bad choices can lead to terrible outcomes. As parents, we need to do everything in our power to help our children learn to make smart decisions. How do you help your kids learn about the consequences of a split-second decision? How do you help them avoid dangerous and risky situations?
Learn what leads kids to make bad decisions… and how parents can help with Good Kids, Bad Choices.

What is your greatest fear for your child? Car accident? Drug or alcohol addiction? Sexually transmitted disease? Unplanned pregnancy? Physical disability? Death? When it comes to learning how to avoid bad decisions, children need the guidance and insights that only parents can provide.

So how do parents learn what situations kids get themselves into? Why they make bad choices?

Order Good Kids, Bad Choices and find out.

You’ll see real teenagers talk about the split-second decisions they made … the terrible outcomes … and what they wish they had done instead. You’ll learn tips from experts and parenting advice about the steps you can take to help your child learn to make better decisions. And you’ll hear the inspiration from families who can help your family – before it’s too late.

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As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) keeping parents informed about today’s teens and the issues they face today is imperative for parents, teachers and others to continue to learn about.

Connect with Kids, like Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, brings awareness to parents and other raising with and working with today’s kids.

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teenagers Cutting Themselves by Connect with Kids

2008-02-18T16:48:00.000-08:00

The Enemy Inside

It's hard to understand teenagers cutting themselves, but kids do deliberately burn, scratch and cut themselves until they bleed. Even the kids involved with teenage cutting can’t tell you why it makes them feel better... at least for the moment.

They can tell you that it’s addictive and scary.“Cutting” is the most popular form of self-injury today, and it is on the rise among adolescents.

Teenagers cutting themselves is a sign of emotional pain but it can also lead to major physical injury... and even death in some cases. The addictive nature of this condition allows it to spin quickly out of control.How can you help prevent teenage cutting?The first step is communication, but talking about teenage cutting isn’t easy.

The Enemy Inside can help.

Compelling true stories from kids who struggle with self-injury will help explain why kids do it, why they want to stop – and so often why they can’t.

You’ll also hear expert advice for parents, teachers and counselors, on how to help prevent this kind of self-harm cutting and how to suggest healthier alternatives.

Order your copy of The Enemy Inside to learn what you need to know about teenagers cutting themselves and to see why Connect with Kids programs have been shown to improve youth behavior and increase communication between parents and children.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?
Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teen Stress by Connect with Kids

2008-01-09T04:18:00.000-08:00

“Depression and anxiety are closely related. And so you can have kids that stop wanting to be involved in things and they spend more and more time in their room and less and less time out playing, cultivating friends -- those are all warning signs.”

– Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist

Who is more stressed out: a parent who has to work hard to pay the bills and raise a family, or a teenager who has to go to school and learn? You may have correctly guessed the answer; still, to some it may come as a surprise.

Recent polls report that 75 percent of adults are stressed or worried about money, family troubles and problems with their boss. But there is a group even more stressed out: kids.

“You know everyone talks about stress and there is a lot of stress,” says Marcus, 16.

“Something you’re always going to have to deal with; it’s never going to go away,” says Andrew, 17.

According to a new Associated Press/MTV poll, 85 percent of teens say they feel stressed. Almost half the boys and a third of the girls say the pressure is there almost every day. Their biggest worry is school.

“Sometimes it’s going to be really stressful because you’re going to get down to the end one night and you’ve got a test the next day and a paper due but you know you have to do it,” says C.T., 17.

Experts say a little stress can energize and motivate a child, but too much has another name: anxiety. And that can be de-motivating.

“Depression and anxiety are closely related. And so you can have kids that stop wanting to be involved in things and they spend more and more time in their room and less and less time out playing, cultivating friends -- those are all warning signs,” says Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist.

Experts say parents can help by offering a careful balance of expectations.

“The most important thing is that you don’t underestimate nor do you overestimate your expectations of your child’s performance,” says Dr. Sherwood Smith, Ph.D., psychologist.

Which is no easy task for parents, he says. Still, his next advice may be a little easier.

“Let your child know that regardless of their level of success, you love and you value that child,” says Smith.

According to the poll, school and studies was ranked the number one stressor by a third of all teens. Fourteen percent said their job was number one; 11 percent said family caused the most amount of stress in their life.

Tips for Parents

Pressure that is too intense or lasts too long, or troubles that are shouldered alone, can cause people to feel stress overload. Here are some of the things that can overwhelm the body's ability to cope if they continue for a long time: (Nemours Foundation)

Being bullied or exposed to violence or injury

Relationship stress, family conflicts, or the heavy emotions that can accompany a broken heart or the death of a loved one

Ongoing problems with schoolwork related to a learning disability or other problems, such as ADHD (usually once the problem is recognized and the person is given the right learning support the stress disappears)

Crammed schedules, not having enough time to rest and relax, and always being on the go
The most helpful method of dealing with stress is learning how to manage the stress that comes with any new challenge, good or bad. Stress-management skills work best when they're used regularly, not just when the pressure's on. (Nemours Foundation)

Knowing how to "de-stress" and doing it when things are relatively calm can help you get through challenging circumstances that may arise. Here are some things that can help keep stress under control: (Nemours Foundation)

Take a stand against over-scheduling. If you're feeling stretched, consider cutting out an activity or two, opting for just the ones that are most important to you.

Be realistic. Don't try to be perfect -- no one is. Expecting others to be perfect can add to your stress level, too (not to mention put a lot of pressure on them!) If you need help with something, such as schoolwork, ask for it.

Get a good night's sleep. Getting enough sleep helps keep your body and mind in top shape, making you better equipped to deal with any negative stressors. Because the biological "sleep clock" shifts during adolescence, many teens prefer staying up a little later at night and sleeping a little later in the morning. But if you stay up late and still need to get up early for school, you may not get all the hours of sleep you need.

Learn to relax. The body's natural antidote to stress is called the relaxation response. It's your body's opposite of stress, and it creates a sense of well-being and calm. The chemical benefits of the relaxation response can be activated simply by relaxing. You can help trigger the relaxation response by learning simple breathing exercises and then using them when you're caught up in stressful situations.

Treat your body well. Experts agree that getting regular exercise helps people manage stress. (Excessive or compulsive exercise can contribute to stress, though, so as in all things, use moderation.) Eat well to help your body get the right fuel to function at its best. It's easy when you're stressed out to eat on the run or eat junk food or fast food. But under stressful conditions, the body needs its vitamins and minerals more than ever.

References

Nemours Foundation

Sue Scheff: Child Depression and Adolescent Depression

2007-12-16T16:34:00.000-08:00

by National Institute of Mental Health
December 6, 2007

Depression in Children and Adolescents

Depression is a very real and serious problem for both children and teens.

Research has shown that childhood depression often persists, recurs and continues into adulthood, especially if it goes untreated. The presence of childhood depression also tends to be a predictor of more severe illnesses in adulthood.

A child with depression may pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that a parent may die. Older children may sulk, get into trouble at school, be negative and irritable, and feel misunderstood. Because these signs may be viewed as normal mood swings typical of children as they move through developmental stages, it may be difficult to accurately diagnose a young person with depression.

Before puberty, boys and girls are equally likely to develop depressive disorders. By age 15, however, girls are twice as likely as boys to have experienced a major depressive episode.23

Depression in adolescence comes at a time of great personal change–when boys and girls are forming an identity distinct from their parents, grappling with gender issues and emerging sexuality, and making decisions for the first time in their lives. Depression in adolescence frequently co–occurs with other disorders such as anxiety, disruptive behavior, eating disorders or substance abuse. It can also lead to increased risk for suicide.

One research study of 439 adolescents with major depression found that a combination of medication and psychotherapy was the most effective treatment option. Researchers are developing and testing ways to prevent suicide in children and adolescents, including early diagnosis and treatment, and a better understanding of suicidal thinking.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Depression Factors by DepressionReport.info

2007-12-04T13:42:00.000-08:00

Teen Depression Risk Factors

There are a number of factors that put a teen at a higher risk for developing depression. Many of these risk factor are red flags for parents, friends, and loved ones to watch out for in a teenager. These factors include:

Experiencing problems or difficulty at school.

Going through a traumatic event. Examples include parents who get divorced, abusive parents, the death of a loved one, or a break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Weight loss or weight gain.

Difficulty dealing with anger.

Developing an interest in violence or a becoming increasingly fearful of violence.

Difficulty sleeping.

Developing an interest in drugs or alcohol.

Teenage depression is the leading cause of teenage suicide. Yet, approximately 80% of teenagers thinking of suicide leave clues. Through careful observation and an understanding of the risk factors of teenage depression, many of these suicides can be prevented.

Causes of Teenage Depression

Teenage depression is largely caused by stress. During the adolescent years, a person undergoes a number of emotional, physical, and mental changes. First of all, hormones start raging and bring with them a plethora of confusing emotions. In addition, teenagers often feel a great deal of pressure from their parents and from teachers to do well in school and to participate in athletics. Furthermore, peer pressure and an overwhelming desire to do whatever it takes to fit in with their peers causes teenagers a great deal of stress.

The stress teenagers feel can result in anger, nervousness, and an inability to concentrate. It can also lead to physical symptoms such as nausea and headaches. Ultimately, the stress can cause social withdraw and depression.

Preventing Teenage Depression

Thankfully, there are several steps a parent can take to prevent teenage depression from setting in on their child.

The first is to always utilize positive disciplinary techniques. Desirable behaviors should be reinforced through praise and recognition rather than utilizing punishment and shame techniques. Punishment and shaming only serves to leave the teenager feeling worthless and inadequate.

At the same time, parents must be careful not to overprotect or to overdirect their teenagers. Children and young adults need to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.

Protecting your teen from experiencing mistakes, or continually telling your child what to do rather than letting him or her make independent decisions, will ultimately make them feel as if you have know faith in his or her ability to make decisions.

It is also important to never push your teen to participate in certain activities because you want him or her to reach your unachieved goals. Your child needs to find his or her own sense of identity and worth.

Sue Scheff: Is Depression Contagious by Psychology Today

2007-11-28T05:30:00.000-08:00

Entire families can be depressed together and not even know it. But healthy communication can prevent you and your loved ones from getting down.

Like the flu, depression is a highly contagious disorder that can be transmitted socially. It is especially apt to take up residence in a household, jumping from one family member to others. And just as individuals can be depressed, so can whole families, often without their awareness.

Depression in a family can suck up all the energy of a household, turning a home into a black hole of swirling negative emotions. Usually, such depression is disguised as physical illness or a general air of irritability and negativity. Family members withdraw into their own spaces, in the protective custody of a TV or computer. And pessimism, sarcasm or silence becomes the dominant style of family communications.

Families can prevent depression from taking up permanent residence and commandeering their interaction patterns by:

Being on the lookout for signs of depression in a family member.

The sooner you spot it, the faster you can help the individual out of it and contain the risk to others. In young children, it may take the form of defiant behavior but not overt sadness. In school age children, depression can be underachievement and withdrawal from school and social activities. In teens, it is often disguised in smoking, drinking or drug use, in older people as lack of appetite for food or life.

Developing skills around positive thinking and positive talking in the household.

Families often inherit a negative thinking style that carries the germ of depression. Typically it is a legacy passed from one generation to the next, a pattern of pessimism invoked to protect loved ones from disappointment or stress. But in fact, negative thinking patterns do just the opposite, eroding the mental health of all exposed.

When Dad consistently expresses his disappointment in Josh for bringing home a B minus in chemistry although all the other grades are As, he is exhibiting a kind of cognitive distortion that children learn to deploy on themselves — a mental filtering that screens out positive experience from consideration.

Or perhaps the father envisions catastrophe, seeing such grades as foreclosing the possibility of a top college, thus dooming his son’s future. It is their repetition over time that gives these events power to shape a person’s belief system.

Instead, set up guidelines for healthy communication. Make everyone aware of the common types of distortions:

Catastrophizing, exaggerating the harmful effects of a disappointing event
Personalizing, seeing yourself or your child as the cause of a disappointing outcome
All-or-nothing thinking, reducing complexities to absolutes, like knowing you’re not perfect but seeing yourself as a loser
Overgeneralizing, interpreting one disappointment as part of an inescapable pattern
Filtering, focusing on negative aspects of an experience while ignoring the positive side

Make an agreement among family members to be habit breakers for each other (at home) when someone slips into negative thinking. Remind each other and support each other.

Make sure that your family has an ongoing supply of positive experiences and a bank of them to call on when times get rough. Negative experiences carry so much psychological weight that positive experiences need to seriously outnumber negative ones. A ratio of 2 to 1 is realistic when you start to build positive interactions, and 5 to 1 is the long term goal.

Inventory positive and negative interactions as a family. When you eat breakfast together, how does it go? Is it on balance a positive or negative experience? What action plan does the family need to use to build more positive experience and lessen the negative? For example, encourage activities in which family members include each other in various combinations. Just going to the movies together can be a highly positive shared event.

Get together often to survey emotional needs for the next week. Ask, what do you need to make this work for you? That way challenges can be anticipated and met with minimal stress on the whole family. What emotional needs do family members have in order to get done what is on their schedule? If Sara has a big test on Friday, then one parent might plan to be especially available on Thursday evening for support

Checking in on people’s well-being and not just on their activity schedule contributes to a sense of connectedness that is a major buffer against depression at every stage of life. Paying as much attention to family feelings as family activities is one of the best protections you can use to combat family depression.

This content is Copyright Sussex Publishers, LLC. 2007. This content is intended for personal use and may not be distributed or reproduced without the consent of Sussex Publishers, LLC. Please contact licensing@psychologytoday.com for more information.

What's Related

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Resilience and Disease
Explaining the Loss of a Pet to a Child
Embracing the Challenge of Life with Epilepsy
Disciplining Other People’s Children
If Your Child is Afraid of the Doctor
The Gift of Learning
Picky Eaters
Teaching Your Child To Fall Asleep
An Introduction to Treatment of Depression

Parent's Universal Resource Experts Continuing to Help Families

2007-11-16T18:15:00.001-08:00

At P.U.R.E. we are continuing to help parents and families with our resources and first hand experiences.

Many parents and professionals recommend books and we will pass them on to you.

Click here.

Sue Scheff - Teen Depression

2007-10-29T07:32:00.001-07:00

For more articles on teen depression and more click here.

Sue Scheff: Teen Depression by Jackie Rosen

2007-09-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

Depression is a major factor in the lives of our youth and young adults ages 10 to 24.

In Broward County, the youngest child identified by the medical examiner to die of suicide due to depression was only 9 years of age.

Every 43 seconds a teen in the USA age 15 to 18 has either planned a suicide or attempted a suicide due to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

Why are our children having such a hard time living depression free in today's society?
What are the stresses that lead them to the feelings of alienation, helplessness and hopelessness?

Some of today's stresses effecting our youth include the following: high performance standards, peer pressures, cultural demands, family problems, lack of extended family support, over scheduling and the need to have instant gratification.

All of these stresses and many more are possible causes that add to the possibility of depression in the youth of our nation.High performance standards, such as those relating to FCATS and other exams, sports and other after school activities, parental or other adult expectations, needed community service requirements, and tougher college entrance requirements are just some of the causes which produce feelings of performance anxiety and depression.

We need to give our children a sense of self that relates to their self worth and individuality.

High standards that we must meet are not only met by meeting the expectations of others but also by those set by ourselves.Peer pressures such as social status, drugs, gangs, bullying, and sexual pressures are stresses that can lead to all kinds of aberrant behaviors.

Behaviors such as cutting oneself, criminal behaviors, drug or alcohol use, sexual promiscuousness, eating disorders or destructive acts due to lack of anger control that injure themselves and/or others.

Drug and alcohol usage is often a form of self medication to help escape the underlying feelings of depression. These are all possible behaviors that can lead to feelings of overwhelming anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, alienation and ultimately desperation resulting in self harm.

Today our teens are functioning or not functioning under the pressure of serious stressors that parents, teachers, counselors, doctors and coaches have to be aware of and explore as possible signs of a serious state of depression.

All adults and peers need to understand the effects and the resulting problems that these stresses produce. All family members need to make themselves aware of the stresses in each others lives and reach out to each other to help recognize the signs and symptoms of depression.

If your child displays helplessness and hopelessness, go to the FISP website at www.fisponline.org and see if they meet three of the 20 signs of depression which can lead to possible suicidal thoughts.

If these feelings last more than two weeks, all day every day then your child may have clinical depression and it is time to seek help.

Get help early and avoid years of suffering for your child and all those who know and love them.

Jackie Rosen is the Executive Director/CEO of the Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention, Inc. - FISP

2007-09-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

Another interesting article on Teen Suicide and Teen Depression:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/09/070907221530.htm

Sue Scheff - Depression and Your Teen by Jackie Rosen

2007-07-29T17:35:00.000-07:00

Depression is a major factor in the lives of our youth and young adults ages 10 to 24. In Broward County, the youngest child identified by the medical examiner to die of suicide due to depression was only 9 years of age. Every 43 seconds a teen in the USA age 15 to 18 has either planned a suicide or attempted a suicide due to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

Why are our children having such a hard time living depression free in today's society? What are the stresses that lead them to the feelings of alienation, helplessness and hopelessness?

Some of today's stresses effecting our youth include the following: high performance standards, peer pressures, cultural demands, family problems, lack of extended family support, over scheduling and the need to have instant gratification. All of these stresses and many more are possible causes that add to the possibility of depression in the youth of our nation.

High performance standards, such as those relating to FCATS and other exams, sports and other after school activities, parental or other adult expectations, needed community service requirements, and tougher college entrance requirements are just some of the causes which produce feelings of performance anxiety and depression. We need to give our children a sense of self that relates to their self worth and individuality. High standards that we must meet are not only met by meeting the expectations of others but also by those set by ourselves.

Peer pressures such as social status, drugs, gangs, bullying, and sexual pressures are stresses that can lead to all kinds of aberrant behaviors. Behaviors such as cutting oneself, criminal behaviors, drug or alcohol use, sexual promiscuousness, eating disorders or destructive acts due to lack of anger control that injure themselves and/or others. Drug and alcohol usage is often a form of self medication to help escape the underlying feelings of depression. These are all possible behaviors that can lead to feelings of overwhelming anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, alienation and ultimately desperation resulting in self harm. Today our teens are functioning or not functioning under the pressure of serious stressors that parents, teachers, counselors, doctors and coaches have to be aware of and explore as possible signs of a serious state of depression. All adults and peers need to understand the effects and the resulting problems that these stresses produce. All family members need to make themselves aware of the stresses in each others lives and reach out to each other to help recognize the signs and symptoms of depression. If your child displays helplessness and hopelessness, go to the FISP website at www.fisponline.org and see if they meet three of the 20 signs of depression which can lead to possible suicidal thoughts. If these feelings last more than two weeks, all day every day then your child may have clinical depression and it is time to seek help. Get help early and avoid years of suffering for your child and all those who know and love them.

Jackie Rosen is the Executive Director/CEO of the Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention, Inc. - FISP